The Solution
Kirk walked at his first officer's side; his mind in a complete daze. He didn't doubt that his bewilderment was partly due to side effects from the neural paralyser given to him by McCoy. Being honest with himself, though, he knew that it was also the result of being on the receiving end of that stunning smile from his normally undemonstrative friend. In that unguarded moment, all Spock's delight had transmitted itself directly to him with the sheer power of Vulcan telepathy. It had been a heady experience.
Spock had controlled his elation as soon as he had realised McCoy and Chapel were observing them. The little charade acted out afterwards had been a joint effort on Kirk's and Spock's part to retain at least a shred of the Vulcan's dignity in front of the doctor. Kirk was unsure if they had been successful, as he recalled McCoy's parting comment.
"In a pig's eye!"
Kirk noticed that his friend was slowing down. "Spock?" he questioned.
The Vulcan glanced sideways but would not meet his eyes. "If you will excuse me, sir, I wish to retire to my cabin."
Must be the shock, Kirk mused. The Vulcan had been deep in the throes of the blood fever but to T'Pau's obvious amazement - that in itself unusual - had forced himself to speak, to beg for Kirk's life. His pleas had been dismissed and he had once more succumbed to the ancient drives, and had reverted to being a primitive male fighting for his mate.
Kirk's 'death' had done the unthinkable. It had snapped the mating cycle, leaving a broken-hearted Spock to mourn and blame himself for murder. Finding his captain alive had been a further shock to the already weakened Vulcan and Kirk knew that his friend needed privacy and perhaps... companionship to help him through the aftermath of the ordeal.
"I'm going with you," Kirk said as he led the Vulcan to the turbo-lift. "Deck five," he ordered then studied Spock very carefully.
Spock stood with hands gripped behind him. Kirk noted the clenching and unclenching of his jaw, the lines of strain creasing his forehead, the tremor in the tightly bunched muscles of his arms. Even a Vulcan had a breaking point, and Kirk feared that Spock had reached his. He resolved to get Spock into his quarters before the crew noticed anything. The lift seemed to take an interminable time. Kirk forced himself not to fidget but he began to sweat as Spock's tension increased. As the door hissed open he stepped into the crowded corridor, as if all were normal, and willed the Vulcan to follow. A moment later he detected the tall figure, one pace behind him and he sighed with relief. He could now concentrate on reaching the cabin as quickly as possible.
He didn't relax until the door closed behind them, shutting out the rest of the ship. Here in the Vulcan norm temperature he could almost believe himself away from the ship, and almost wished that they were on Spock's home world for they both needed time to adjust and come to terms with the recent traumatic events.
Kirk noted the still tense shoulders of his first officer and came to a decision. He switched on the intercom. "Mr Scott, you have command until we reach Altair. Neither Mr Spock nor myself will be on duty and are only to be disturbed if there is an emergency."
"Aye, Captain," Scott replied, somewhat reluctantly.
Kirk smiled a little. He trusted the engineer. The ship would be well looked after, despite Scotty's views that command ranked second to caring for his beloved engines, his 'bairns'.
"I think we both need a break," Kirk said to the ramrod stiff back. "I want us to take some shore leave after the inauguration. Just you and me together. There are beautiful wilderness regions on Altair. We could hike for a few days, soak up the fresh air, sleep in the open."
Spock's clenched hands tightened further. "I must meditate. Please leave."
Kirk shook his head. "I will not leave you, my friend."
Spock spun round to face him, his usually impassive face awash with emotion. "Your friend! You call me your friend? If not for McCoy's intervention you would be dead." His dark eyes were haunted. "I could not control. I was unable to overcome the blood fever." Agony shot from every word. "I was a mindless savage. All I wanted was T'Pring and you were my rival. You were in the way. I wanted to kill you."
Kirk stepped back, shocked by the depth of the other's guilt. "No, Spock. You broke through the blood fever to plead for me. Don't you remember?" He swallowed and moved forward. "I chose to accept the challenge. You did not understand that it was a fight to the death. You were deceived. The woman manipulated us both. She did not want me and knew that if you defeated me, then you would not want her." Spock's voice was full of pain, and the tension in his thin frame was palpable to Kirk's heightened senses.
"None of that matters now," Kirk responded. "It's all over." He risked a touch to a trembling arm. "I accepted the challenge because I thought it would allow honour to be satisfied. We didn't know if you, in your weakened condition, could win a fight against Stonn. When I found out the combat was to the death I couldn't withdraw." He gripped the Vulcan's other arm, trying to soothe his overwrought friend with all the power of his compassion and sympathy. "You have nothing to blame yourself about. We were just very lucky that McCoy was able to think on his feet and fake my death."
He tightened his grip. "T'Pring was a fool. No woman in her right mind would reject you."
Spock recoiled and walked away into the bedroom alcove where he stood and stared into the glowing coals of his fire-shrine. Kirk lowered his arms and waited, preparing himself for the possible ordeal ahead. Spock had to permit him to help. Who else could he turn to at such a time? Kirk only knew that he wouldn't allow his closest friend to suffer on his own. With grim determination he waited until the moment he could be of assistance.
After a time, Spock swivelled around to face him. Dark eyes blazed in his pale, gaunt face and Kirk damped down his own fear. What if Pon Farr was not over, and only temporarily assuaged due to the shock of Kirk's 'death'? What if it suddenly erupted to life again?
"Spock, you're exhausted," he murmured. "You need to rest."
He stood his ground, as Spock approached, despite every instinct telling him to retreat from the emotions in those dark, alien eyes. He gathered his courage. This is Spock, my best friend, he reasoned. This is Spock, the friend who would have killed me but for Bones' intervention, his fears argued.
Spock stopped, inches away, and focussed all his attention on his captain. "Her reasons were perfectly logical. She had the right to chose another."
Kirk relaxed a little. At least he was talking in a rational manner. "I don't understand. Why was she willing to give up the status of your wife to be property?"
"It is an ancient law, dating from the time before Surak. In those days, females were property. T'Pring invoked it because it was her only option while I was subject to Pon Farr."
"You mean this could have been resolved in a civilised manner?" Kirk exclaimed.
"Perhaps, if I had been living on Vulcan, the mind-link could have been dissolved due to the unconsummation..." Spock faltered and a slight flushed heightened his cheeks. "I have not been home for eighteen point two five years."
Kirk was shocked at that admission. "You've not returned in all that time?"
The green tinged skin grew darker. "Negative." Spock replied tersely.
Kirk saw the pain cross his friend's features, the slight sheen of sweat above the thin upper lip, but did not ask the reason. That it was hurtful and embarrassing was clear. If and when, Spock decided to confide in him, then he would be ready to listen. He would not insist for any answers now. Instead he chose safer ground. "What will happen to T'Pring?"
"I have freed her. The bond between us is broken. She may marry whom she pleases." Spock clasped his hands behind him, glanced away, and then resolutely returned his attention to Kirk. "Vulcan women have the ultimate power. They have the strength to control the male during Pon Farr. If they are unable, or choose otherwise, then he will die."
Kirk was horrified by the implications of those words. Now he understood the power wielded by T'Pau. Now he realised why T'Pring had been so arrogant, despite the ancient law that made her property, and why Stonn had spoken out against her decision to choose Kirk as her champion. No Vulcan woman would really be 'property'. She would be honoured and placed above anyone else, for she held her mate's life in her hands.
"Normally a bonded couple do not experience any difficulties," Spock continued. "They are tested for compatibility during childhood. The Vulcan male cherishes his bond-mate for without her his very existence is threatened. There are rare times like this, when the woman rejects the childhood link. I believe the reason to be my hybrid nature."
"You can't be sure of that, Spock," Kirk said. "There's no point in speculating. The problem now is, what happens now. Are you really free of the symptoms? If not, there are women on this ship who would be prepared to...assist you." He felt deeply privileged by Spock's willingness to discuss this with him, and ignored the embarrassment between them. His statement was true. There would be no shortage of volunteers.
Despite being still unsure of how to continue talking over this delicate subject with his modest and very private friend, Kirk was determined to see it through. He would tackle the whole matter with determination, but with compassion and gentleness. "Please sit down, Spock We must talk this out. I must understand what happened today and its effects. Will you tell me?"
Spock was silent for long moments before he indicated his agreement. With relief, Kirk settled into a chair as Spock took his own, at the other side of the desk. There was an awkward silence, then Kirk took the initiative. "Tell me about our bond, Spock. What it means to you and the connection it might have had to the breaking of the compulsion."
"I am uncertain," Spock replied. He glanced down at his clasped hands. "I can only surmise that the shock of 'killing' my t'hy'la broke the Pon Farr. Once that was done, my hormonal balance returned to normal." He studied his fingers as if they were the most interesting things in the room. "The bond we share is very deep."
Kirk could see his difficulty in revealing this and was warmed by his trust. He smiled. "I know," he answered.
"I would not have outlived you for long," the Vulcan added.
Chills slithered down Kirk's spine at those words. "What do you mean?" he finally found the courage to ask. "Even if you had been convicted - and I very much doubt that - there is no death sentence on any Federation world."
Spock lifted his head and looked at Kirk. "There is only one option for he who has killed his t'hy'la. Grief and guilt consume him. The will to live is overcome. Death swiftly follows."
Kirk's throat constricted. Tears sprung to his eyes as the thought of what might have happened became all too clear. He was unaware of the wetness on his face until long fingers wiped it away. Kirk sniffed, blinked hard, and attempted to control his emotions for the sake of his telepathic friend. However, the worries of the past days, the shock of the vicious fight he had been forced into, the knowledge that he was going to die at Spock's hands, the miraculous awakening in sickbay and now the discovery that his death would have meant Spock's was too much to bear. He shivered as chills swept him, body and soul.
Spock stared at his friend in wonder. Kirk's emotions were powerful, and even Vulcan barriers were ineffective. This human who had defied Starfleet orders for him, putting his career on the line, had risked his life in the arena and faced death with immense courage. He had never once broken until now with the sure knowledge that Spock would not have survived him.
As a Vulcan, Spock did not understand how to deal with grief, and as a human he was unpractised at sympathising with another's pain. As his unique self, and faced with the reality of his t'hy'la's anguish, he was able to respond to Kirk's need for reassurance and comfort.
"Jim," he whispered as he reached out to pat the other's trembling shoulder. "Please do not be distressed."
"I'm sorry," Kirk responded, his voice hoarse. "I shouldn't bombard you with all this emotion."
"It is my privilege to share this with you," Spock reassured.
"Spock!" Kirk queried, confusion showing in widened hazel eyes.
"I thought you dead by my hand. You have been returned to me. I am grateful to McCoy." Spock felt his own emotions overcome him and bent his head.
"Will you tell him that?" Kirk asked with a teasing lilt.
Spock was unable to force any more words past the lump in his throat. He shook his head. It would be impossible to relay his gratitude to the abrasive medic. Kirk's cool hand encircled his wrist, and the touch relaxed him. The presence of his bond-brother soothed his jangled nerves and he was able to look up at the one he had thought never to be with again.
The lump dissolved and he could not restrain the impulsive words that sprang to his lips. "Thee are the other half of my soul, Jim." As fresh tears sprung to Kirk's eyes, Spock added, "Forgive me. I do not wish thee upset."
Kirk's smile denied that observation. His face glowed with joy as he tightened his grip on Spock's wrist. "I'm fine. The nightmare is over. We're together and that means that nothing can defeat us."
As embarrassment hit him again, Spock cleared his throat. He felt the heat on his face and grew angry with himself. Why was it so difficult to be open with Jim. Why could he not be relaxed over matters with the man who was his t'hy'la, his bond-brother.
"It's okay, Spock, I understand," Jim soothed. "There's nothing to be embarrassed about. We share an unique gift and should rejoice in it."
"Indeed," Spock responded.
He lowered his gaze again, unable to accept the open affection on Kirk's face. He did not deserve it. He closed his eyes and called upon the tried and tested Vulcan techniques he used to quash his human half but events of recent days had left him both physically and mentally exhausted. He floundered in confusion, caught in a maelstrom of conflicting emotion that was making him physically ill.
Nausea gripped him and with a sudden movement he wrenched away from Kirk's hold and stumbled to the bathroom where he was violently sick. Once the powerful spasms ceased, he straightened, disorientated by the attack. He could not ever remember vomiting before.
A glass was placed in his hand. "Here, rinse your mouth with this," Kirk urged. "Take a shower, freshen up. I'll be outside if you need me."
Spock nodded and gripped the glass. A comforting hand pressed his shoulder for a moment then was gone. Thank you, he said in his mind. Kirk smiled, as if he had heard, then left him.
As he showered, Spock thought of the man whose bravery and commitment knew no bounds. The hot water eased the pains in his body but it was the sure knowledge of Jim's affection for him that soothed the ache deep within his soul. T'Pring meant nothing to him now. What need had he of a woman who despised him? Jim's unwavering loyalty sustained him, his duties on the Enterprise fulfilled him, and if one day Pon Farr returned, he would deal with it then. How was uncertain. Jim's suggestion of a human woman had startled him but why? His own mother was human. Christine Chapel only needed the slightest hint... He shuddered at the thought of a sexual relationship with one he was not bonded to. There would be no control without the bond.
He dismissed the problem to a deep corner of his mind and emerged, weak but refreshed and wearing his favourite Vulcan robe, into the outer room. Kirk had not seen him and was pacing the floor. "Jim?" Spock murmured.
Kirk smiled in welcome. "Feeling better?"
Spock saw the worry behind the enforced cheerfulness. "I am. Jim, you also need rest. This ordeal has been..."
"I'm fine," Kirk interrupted. "I'll go soon." He grinned then added, "I don't want you to lose any of your beauty sleep."
Puzzled by the expression, Spock raised the expected eyebrow. He was certainly not going to disappoint Kirk in the ongoing game they both enjoyed. "Beauty sleep, Captain?" he queried.
Kirk laughed. "I've overheard it debated amongst the female crew that not only are you the best first officer in the fleet but also, the most handsome."
"Of course," Spock responded to the teasing words. "I am a Vulcan."
"I don't quite follow that line of reasoning, Spock, but I won't pursue it." Kirk moved over beside him. "Are you all right, my friend?"
"Yes, Jim." Spock permitted himself a slight smile. "I am quite well."
"Then, I will leave you to rest." Kirk waggled a finger at him. "No working at the computer. I'll be back from time to time to check on you, and I'd better see that you're fast asleep."
Spock took a step forward. "I shall, of course, obey." He reached out to touch the other's forehead, needing to show this man his appreciation. "Jim."
Kirk nodded and with infinite gentleness, Spock entered his mind to seek out the bright essence of him. He found it and drew comfort from the strength of the human's commitment to their friendship. They stood in silent communication, saying what could not be formulated into words.
It was with reluctance that they broke contact, but each could see the other's exhaustion. Spock lowered his hand, looked into his friend's face and was greeted by a joyful grin. Unable to control his response to that warmth after the intense closeness of the meld, Spock found himself returning the smile. Embarrassed, he flushed, and after a few seconds he drew his errant facial muscles into their normal inexpressive lines.
"I didn't see a thing, Mr Spock," Kirk reassured.
"Of course, Captain. There was nothing to see." Spock raised both brows.
"Oh yeah! Well I'd advise you to keep that smile under wraps," Kirk teased, his eyes sparkling with mischief.
"I do not understand, sir," Spock replied.
"If you unleash it at some unsuspecting woman, she'd faint at your feet. I cannot have my crew incapacitated like that."
"Really, Captain!" Spock forced himself to project complete innocence. "Why would any woman faint at my feet!"
Kirk suddenly abandoned his teasing and touched Spock's arm. "Are you really all right?"
"Yes, Jim, but only because of your help."
Kirk bowed his head in acknowledgement of the honest words. "It was my privilege, Spock."
"I thank thee," Spock replied.
***
With Kirk's departure the room seemed empty and cold. Spock adjusted the temperature control the prepared for bed. He was more exhausted than he had realised. As he lay under the covers, his thoughts returned to the horrific events of the day. His unstable hybrid physiology was dangerous. Never again would he allow Jim's life to be jeopardised by it. There were hints in the ancient texts that some, through the bond of t'hy'la, had found a method of overcoming the cycle. The unaffected one had been able to help the other negate the drive. It had happened today caused by the shock of Jim's death but that was too drastic an action. There had to be a less traumatic way of stopping Pon Farr. He would study the old texts, translating the pre-reform language himself. The bond of t'hy'la was an ancient one and existed long before the marriage tradition. It must hold the answer.
He closed his eyes as a weariness, such as he had never known, overtook him but before sleep claimed him, one thought brought him comfort. With Jim's help, he would find the solution.
***
Glad to be alive, and content that Spock had trusted him enough to share his innermost feelings, Kirk stretched out on his bed and sighed. I won't allow this to happen again, he vowed. We'll find a way to prevent it.
He knew now, that Spock would accept his help for in the meld he had seen deep into the Vulcan's psyche. A sense of well-being spread through him as he recalled Spock's regard for him. He had always known it but had never quite realised its depth. He was uniquely privileged to be a friend to such a being - more than a friend, a brother. Somehow the shock of his 'death' had broken the Pon Farr. There had to be some clue in that, but Kirk did not intend to resort to such extreme measures again. There had to be another way.
Once rested, he would tackle Spock on the subject. Vulcan privacy was not a factor now. They were long past that. He yawned as tiredness overcame him and his eyes closed. Before he slipped into sleep he vowed that together, he and Spock would find the solution.