The T'Varon Chronicles.

(An alternate universe series)

Story Four - Starship Captain - (Section one)

Uncertainties

The screen cleared to reveal the council of admirals; an impressive display of Starfleet's finest. All manner of beings sat on the podium; representatives of many Federation races. Admiral Komack, who was the spokesperson for the group, stood at the forefront.

"Commander James T Kirk," he said. "We have studied Captain T'Zen's report, First Officer Spock's report and your own personal account of your mission. We are pleased by your successful integration into the T'Varon crew. Your determination, courage, and flexibility have shown our Vulcan members that it is possible for other species to work with them on a starship. They have asked me to convey their congratulations to you."

I bowed. "Thank you, sir."

I held my breath and waited. Would they keep their word and give me my own command? Did I even merit it? Perhaps they wouldn't believe my achievements on the T'Varon as worthy enough to reward with my dream.

Komack's expression revealed nothing; sometimes he could be as unreadable as a Vulcan. He took his time but his words, when they at last came, were worth every agonising second of delay. "On your return to Earth you will find your new assignment waiting for you. By the unanimous vote of this council, you are promoted to captain and given command of the USS Enterprise."

I could scarcely restrain my astonishment. They were giving me my starship - and not just any starship but the latest, most advanced ship in the fleet. She had been years in the making at Starfleet docks. She was magnificent! I would never have suspected that they would give her to a young, untried captain like me. Everyone had assumed she would be commanded by an experienced officer, a veteran captain or commodore. I wanted to jump for joy, leap into the air, yell my delight but discipline held. Two Vulcans stood at either side of me and anyway, after all the time I had spent learning restraint, I was going to be a credit to my teacher.

I bowed again. "I am deeply honoured, sir. The council of admirals has my deepest thanks."

"Well done, Captain Kirk." Komack broke into a grin.

I couldn't restrain an answering smile. 'Captain Kirk' had a certain ring to it. It sounded right. My boyhood dream was about to come true. I could scarcely believe my good fortune.

Komack was speaking so I forced myself to listen. "The full inauguration ceremony will take place in four solar days at Starfleet headquarters. This ceremony will be seen throughout the galaxy. Your successful mission has been a giant leap in interspecies co-operation and we hope will pave the way for other such ventures."

"My greatest wish is to see that happen, sir." I was only too aware of Spock at my shoulder. I had never broached the subject to him, not daring to voice my wishes on it, for I had been unsure of my future and uncertain if they would give me my ship. Now it was imperative that I speak frankly to my friend. I had to persuade him to come with me to the Enterprise.

Formalities were exchanged between Komack and T'Zen about arrival times and representation from the T'Varon at the ceremony. As I waited for them to finish with ill-concealed impatience, I glanced at Spock and he met my eyes. I was unable to read him at all and that chilled me, for I had come to know him so well. We were friends; more than friends -t'hy'la, bondrothers.

I was relieved when the transmission ended. My heart still pounded with excitement and I tried to calm myself for Spock was a powerful telepath and receptive to my emotions.

T'Zen inclined her head to me. "I will regret losing you, but I offer you my congratulations, Captain Kirk." Her face was impassive but I knew she was pleased for me. Also my appointment reflected on her status in Starfleet and on Vulcan. I was glad I hadn't failed her. She had supported me despite the problems concerning me and her late husband, Selek.

"Captain, I have gained a great deal from your example. It has been a privilege being a member of your crew. Those lessons I have learned here will not be forgotten."

She raised her brow but made no comment. Her lovely, dark eyes seemed to soften for a moment, though, and I smiled at her.

"Congratulations, Captain Kirk," Spock's familiar, deep voice said.

My heart lifted as I turned to him. In the past year or so we had become very close, sharing hardship and danger together and a companionship more deeply satisfying than any other I had known. Yet, despite our telepathic communication, there were still things I didn't understand about him.

How did he feel about my promotion and would he consider coming with me? He had to come with me! I didn't know how I would survive without him. "Mr Spock, it is you I must thank. If not for your help and guidance, I would never have been able to adjust to life on this ship.

There was a slight sparkle in his eyes but it disappeared as the captain confirmed the T'Varon would reach Earth in time for the inauguration ceremony then dismissed us from her cabin. I had four days to persuade him. It would be a major coup, if I could bring him with me. If not, it would be a severe personal loss to me, maybe even one I couldn't take. The bond of brotherhood ran very deep, Spock had once told me. I understood that only too well now that I was faced with losing him.

"May we talk?" I asked, as we walked along the corridor.

"If you wish, Captain," he replied.

I grinned. Spock was calling me captain and it sounded so right. I recalled the times I had dreamed about this, yet for over a year he had been my senior officer. I had accepted his command easily enough for my respect for him was unbounded. Could he accept me as his commander? He respected me and had given me his friendship and I remembered, at the beginning, how much I had yearned for his regard. I had needed his companionship and had broken down his defences until at last, he had offered me his trust.

We entered my cabin and once there, he stood with hands clasped behind him and stared at me with that penetrating look of his. How did he feel about my imminent departure? Would he be able to bear being alone again? He enjoyed my company, although my unpredictability still shocked him. We spent duty shifts and free time together. I had even, on occasion, beaten him at chess! We had shared work-outs in the gymnasium and he had taught me Vulcan martial arts techniques that had improved my muscle power and fighting skills. We had discussed, debated, argued over all manner of subjects, something that had dramatically improved my mental acuity. I had learned so much from him and he had picked up a little from me - mostly bad habits I am ashamed to admit, like poker...

"Spock, I must leave." I stated the obvious. "Indeed, Captain," he replied, his face expressionless.

I went straight to the point; no amount of Vulcan training had knocked that out of me. "A starship captain may choose his command team." I cleared my throat, suddenly feeling very nervous. "Spock, I want you to be my first and science officer."

The shock hit him. I saw it in his eyes and the slight tremor of his thin shoulders. I prayed that he would accept. "Spock," I continued, "come with me. I need you with me. I cannot leave you here. I do not wish us to be parted." He didn't respond and I trailed into silence. As time went by and he didn't answer, I began to be very afraid. "Spock, it will be difficult for you, I know, but someone must make the next move. Who better than you, Spock? You are used to me. You would be able to fit in. I would give you every support, just like you have done for me. We are friends, we are bond-brothers, we can make it work."

He had not looked so austere for many months; I had almost forgotten how cold he could appear. A shiver ran through me - he was retreating from me. I couldn't allow that. I wouldn't. I reached out to touch him but he stepped back to avoid me and fear gripped me hard. He normally allowed my touch now, as a friend should so why was he acting in this way? Had my request offended him?

"If you will excuse me, I have matters to attend to," he said at last.

My throat went painfully dry and I tried for calm. I must think this out and understand it from his point of view. Spock's tour of duty was almost finished. The T'Varon was going into space-dock for a refit. A transfer at this time would be easy - if he wished it. Then it suddenly came to me. What a fool I was! The Vulcan council would have to give its permission for Spock to join me. I swallowed the lump in my throat. What if they objected. If they did, there was little if anything I could do about it.

The prospect of starship command without the cool and logical supportive presence of Spock beside me seemed impossible. I was ready to panic but stopped myself. Where was my independence and self-reliance? This bond we shared made me stronger but it also made me vulnerable. The loneliness without him would be intolerable.

"Very well, Mr Spock," I responded, more calmly than I felt. I churned with emotion as he left the room. My mind was in a complete turmoil. He had befriended a human stranger who had been out of his depth, and had changed his life. His friendship was the anchor I had clung to for more than a year. We were close in a way I had never been with Gary, and not even with my brother, Sam. Spock was my brother just as surely as Sam was. Our telepathic unity defied all description, and to part and never meet him again was unthinkable. I made a decision then. If he would not come with me then I would make my life here. Starfleet would give me the necessary permission; I didn't dare think that they would refuse.

Two hours later the ship was under attack. I rushed to my post and, in the heat of the conflict, forgot my personal problems. We worked together; an efficient, well trained crew in the face of Klingon hostility. It had been a sneak attack but no-one really catches Vulcans unawares. We chased them as far as the neutral zone and patrolled there until relieved by the USS Highlander.

We returned to our heading for Earth and the time taken up by the Klingons meant that there would be no chance for any formalities before the ceremony. The interest in my mission with the Vulcans was so intense that Starfleet decided against postponing, for at maximum warp we would reach Earth just in time for the beginning of the inauguration. Interspecies co-operation, especially regarding Vulcans, had become one of the Federation's most important issues. I would be the focus of attention and they would be using my success to promote further experiments. I didn't much care about any of it. The joy of my promotion was turning sour.

Spock kept himself apart and, although it was difficult, I respected his need for privacy. I couldn't understand why he wouldn't speak to me but was afraid to go to him in case that made the situation worse. I was lonely and uncertain. My other ship-mates, noting my unhappiness, sought me out and included me in their discussions and meetings. I barely acknowledged their kindness but they didn't take offence and, out of shame, I would try and respond to their efforts.

During my last rest period on the T'Varon, I tossed and turned on my bed. Earth was twelve hours away, and I still hadn't spoken with Spock. Would he be allowed to serve with me? If he was forced to remain in the Vulcan fleet, would I be permitted to stay? I laughed without humour. James T Kirk, Federation hero who had worked so well with Vulcans; little did anyone know how Spock's compassion and support had stopped me from failing miserably.

I must have dozed for the noise of the door-chime startled me. I sat up, a little confused, for I had been dreaming again about being a starship captain with Spock at my side. I came fully awake, stood up, and clasped my hands in front of me. "Enter," I said.

Spock strode in and I was delighted to see him. I moved to greet him but stopped as he looked down at the ground. I could clearly sense his strain, exhaustion, and even nervousness.

"Spock, what has happened?" I whispered, fearing the worst.

In a sudden move he took hold of my hands and pressed my fingers against each side of his face; his hands covering mine. I couldn't understand what he was doing. Tiny shivers slid along my fingers, up my wrists and arms and into my head until his familiar telepathic touch reached into my mind.

I pledge thee my loyalty, Captain, he said.

Shakiness took hold of me as I realised what he was telling me. He was coming with me and was pledging allegiance in his own personal way.

I shall always be thy friend. That I swear to thee.

I was ecstatic! I didn't know the correct response but I must find something to say for he awaited my answer. I accept thy loyalty and friendship with thanks and gratitude. I knew these words were inadequate but he found them sufficient for he looked at me with a smile in his dark eyes.

"You are coming with me," I stated unnecessarily.

"Indeed, Captain," he replied. He brought my hands down from his face but still held onto my wrists.

"When did you decide? Why did you wait so long to tell me? Why would you not talk to me?" I couldn't prevent a touch of anger from my voice.

"I wished it all along but the Vulcan council were uncertain. I received their consent just minutes ago." He had obviously read my anger for he gripped my wrists as if my words, my feelings were vital to him. "I was afraid to speak in case they refused. My only thoughts were to spare you but by not telling you of this I have brought you pain. I have seriously misinterpreted your responses in this matter and humbly beg your forgiveness."

I was unable to bear seeing him pleading like this. "It is nothing. You wanted to spare me the agony of awaiting the council's decision. Your motives were the best but, Spock you suffered it alone. Do not ever do that again. You must share these things with me for it is worse not having you confide in me. It made me feel so alone and I am not used to that any more." He bowed his head in acceptance of my words, and in shame at my admonishment. My affection for him, at his contrite and humble manner so incongruous for him, overcame me. I smiled. "You must obey my orders now, Spock."

He met my eyes. "Yes, Captain."

I couldn't stop my grin from breaking out and, in response, he gave me a small, hesitant smile. No doubt he suspected me of teasing him. "It will be difficult for you, my friend," I said. "You are most courageous to attempt it."

"I shall follow where you lead," he replied.

"I appreciate that, Spock." I sighed. "I will be seeing my family again." That was a strange feeling. It seemed so long since I had seen them. I felt Spock's tension and knew the cause. "I will not neglect nor abandon you for others, but you must get used to the fact that amongst humans it is commonplace to have many friends." I pulled him against me. "Not like us; nothing could come close to that."

"I shall accept what is, Jim," he said. "All that is important is that we are together."

He was willing to leave all that he knew to follow me on a long mission amongst strangers, who knew nothing about Vulcans. I would ease the way for him as much as possible, but prejudice was still rife amongst some humans. Even those who were not intolerant would find it difficult to understand him. Was I being selfish in wanting him with me? Wouldn't it be better for him to stay here with everyone and everything he knew, and where he was respected and at home.

"Spock," I began.

"Where you are is home to me, t'hy'la," he said, reading my thoughts. "Do not be concerned, It is my choice to follow you and my decision to serve you. Please accept the logic of the situation."

There was precious little logic involved. His devotion and selflessness brought tears to my eyes and I held him tightly. He had been my shield, my teacher, my haven here and I loved him like a brother. I had obeyed his orders - well most of them - and now he would obey mine. I wondered, anew, if I really could command him. Did I have that ability? He wouldn't respect me if I was incompetent. I suspected, though, that he would in his own quiet way teach me how to command. I had taught him something of the giving of human warmth and he had learned to accept and return my touch. He hugged me now in a way no human could match. His telepathic touch was ever present; I sensed it through my skin. It was a sensation that never failed to delight me; it made me feel so close to him.

After a time, he stepped back into his normal, formal stance. "Your emotions are overcoming your control," he commented.

I coughed to cover my embarrassment but wouldn't let him away with that. "You took your time to notice that."

He had the grace to avert his eyes. I grinned, enjoying teasing him.

"Perhaps," he conceded.

"Definitely," I replied. "But you are right, Spock. I will not forget those lessons on emotional control, restraint and courtesy. I understand your need for privacy and would never cause you any embarrassment in public." I gave him a wide grin. "I will only hug you in private."

He smiled, ever so slightly. "You have taught me the value of physical contact. I am grateful."

I chuckled. "At one time I would never have believed you would admit that." I hesitated then added, " I recall a time when I begged for your friendship. If you had refused I know I would have been devastated. If you had declined to come with me to the Enterprise, I believe I would have been pleading with you to reconsider."

His expression was full of understanding. "The bond of brotherhood is, at times, most illogical. I have learned that it is not humiliating to beg forgiveness from my t'hy'la."

"There is no false pride between us, Spock. We know each other too well for that." I grinned at him. "You are well and truly stuck with me now. You will have to deal with a captain who was once your subordinate; not that you were heavy handed with your authority."

"Indeed, you often attempted to take command."

"You would sometimes allow it."

"If the situation warranted it."

"Or if I pestered you enough."

He conceded defeat. "You are a born leader, Jim. I have always known that. I am content to follow you. Your dream foretold it."

"My dream!" I exclaimed.

"The dream where you were on a starship bridge, and I stood at your side and called you captain."

"You knew of my dream!" I couldn't believe it at first, then I remembered the time we had been trapped on the ice-planet. I had fallen asleep while still in mind-contact with Spock. I had dreamed it then and he must have shared it. The memory of that time stranded together was vivid. It was there, for the first time, we had merged thoughts and spirits to keep one another alive.

"You brought me into your dream, Jim. I did not wish to intrude but I could not free myself from you. Your mind was entangled in mine." He stared into the distance as if recalling that time. "It was most disquieting."

My poor Vulcan friend. How did he put up with me? "I am sorry," I started.

"It was always my hope that you would invite me to join you," he continued, as if I had not spoken.

"By your reaction, when I asked, I thought you shocked."

"It was fear of not knowing if I would be permitted to serve with you, and the prospect of being alone again." He gazed at me with frightening intensity. "You have taught me about openness but it is still... difficult at times. I did not wish to be cold with you, nor to avoid you, but if once I had given in to my feelings, I would have been unable to function."

I knew that he was worried that I was hurt or angry with him and sought to reassure. "I do not blame you, Spock."

He visibly relaxed and I briefly touched his arm. "Please, sit down," I said.

He settled into a chair and watched me pace the room. My thoughts were in a jangle as the emotions of the past days had taken their toll. I was exhausted. In a few hours, I'd officially be captain of the Enterprise. I had been given my reward for my successful mission here but I was bringing with me the greatest prize of all. Spock knew how much I valued him but he wouldn't find his new life easy. Our situation would be reversed. He would be on his own, whilst I would be with old, familiar faces. Where the rules - in the human dominated fleet - were different. I vowed that he wouldn't be shut out of my life, that he could depend on me. I wouldn't allow him to be hurt.

I came to a halt in front of him and knelt down. "Spock, I shall always be thy friend. That I swear to thee." I wanted to reassure him; perhaps he needed that from me.

The emotion in his eyes, at those words that echoed his own, was plain to see. He knew that I had seen it but didn't attempt to hide anything, as he once would have. "I am honoured," he said.

"See, you have brought me to my knees again!" I joked in a lame attempt to defuse the intensity of emotion about us.

"Indeed. An amazing feat, to bring a stubborn, proud, impulsive, human to his knees," he responded.

I grinned. "Especially as he is now your captain."

"Especially now," Spock repeated; a slight twinkle in his eyes. "However, a Vulcan knows how to achieve such a miracle."

"Oh, and how do you explain that?" I challenged. This I had to hear.

"Perhaps it has to do with my natural ability to inspire respect and awe in those of other species," he suggested.

He was teasing me but it was, in my opinion, the simple truth. "Yes?" I encouraged.

"Perhaps the mystique and power I project."

"Very good, Spock," I said, sure he was unaware that everything he was saying was a fact. "Maybe it is also the friendship you have kindled in the heart of this particular human."

I reached for the mind-touch and he didn't refuse. At this tense time we needed the security of our special unity. We communicated without words and it strengthened me for the ordeal ahead. I believe it helped Spock too for as we parted I clearly sensed his confidence and optimism.

With a deep feeling of well-being, I stood and stretched. My tiredness had gone; the mind meld banishing it as if it had never existed. "How long before we beam down?" I asked.

Spock stood. "Two point three hours. We are to report to the briefing room at 14.50 hours. Captain T'Zen wishes to speak to us."

"Time enough for us to take a shower," I said. "Make ourselves presentable." I should have amended that. Spock looked immaculate, unlike me who always seemed to be in disarray.

He looked at me in puzzlement. "Together" he ventured.

"What!" I exclaimed, unable to resist teasing him. "Of course, together..."

I waited for the green flush to form on his face and wasn't disappointed. It crept along his cheekbones, ran along the side of his face to the tips of his ears. I could almost feel the heat emanating from those delicately pointed ears.

"Spock, we have shared a sleeping bag," I reasoned. "We have shared thoughts and dreams. What is wrong with sharing a shower?" I started to strip. "At times you can be most illogical."

He cleared his throat. "I ask your pardon. I have matters to attend in my quarters."

I watched him, my shirt in my hand, and took pity on him. I shouldn't torment him like this. "All right, Spock. You have to pack. I understand."

He bowed his head but not before I saw the relief in his eyes. What was I to do with him? No matter how close we became he could still be reticent with me. He was an enigma.

"Jim," he began. My behaviour still confused him.

"I was teasing you, Spock. But taking a shower with me would not be so bad. Sam and I shared showers many times."

"He is your brother," Spock replied.

"So are you," I countered.

I left him to chew on that and went into my bathroom. My friendship with Spock was certainly not dull. I was privileged to be his t'hy'la and I hoped he understood my feelings on that. Despite the mind-links we still misunderstood one another at times. The chasm between human and Vulcan was narrow but it was also very deep.

Homecoming

We beamed directly to the admiralty ceremony. We made an impressive entrance and the buzz in the air was unmistakable. The media of the galaxy were there - well I hadn't missed them - my family and friends were in the guest's enclosure and I could see, even feel their happiness. This was a factor attributable, I'm sure, to my heightened senses after the telepathic rapport with Spock.

Captain T'Zen, Lt T'Sal and Commander Storon stood with us. Earlier, Spock and I had taken leave of our other ship-mates in a dignified and moving farewell. I dreaded the moment of final parting with the last three.

After a long and tedious speech by the Federation president, the moment came when I was officially given my captain's stripes by Admiral Nogura. He was pleased with me but tight-lipped and poker-faced as usual, he didn't let it show too much. Now, I was expected to make a speech. Well, I'd do more than that. I'd give them the shock of their lives.

It was a little difficult not to speak the Vulcan language but I forced myself back into standard. "Members of the council and all beings present, I thank you for your confidence and the honour you bestow upon me. I look forward to taking up my post on the Enterprise." I took a very deep breath. Were they ready for it? It didn't matter for I was ready to tell them. "My time on the T'Varon was not only an education for me, it was a great step towards inter-species co-operation. This initiative must not be lost." I paused, searching the admirals' faces for any signs of knowledge, and found none. "In keeping with tradition, I invoke my right to choose my command team. As my first and science officer, I wish Commander Spock of Vulcan."

The uproar that followed was deafening, and the atmosphere became electric as the implications of my words sank in. Spock stepped to my side and I looked up at him. "That put the cat amongst the pigeons," I commented.

He frowned. "Why should a feline mammal wish to be amongst birds of the family Columbidae?" he asked.

I laughed aloud. "I'll explain later, Spock. I think I've shocked them."

"Indeed, Captain," he agreed.

After a few minutes, order was restored. I had spent the time by watching the people around us. The Vulcans were calm and quiet, but they had known for Spock had been given permission to leave the Vulcan fleet. My family members were very excited and I wanted to go over there and greet them. I caught a glimpse of some of my friends - Bones, Gary, Ruth, Lee, Carol and many more. What a reunion we would all have..

I glanced up at the giant viewscreen and saw myself and Spock mirrored there. I had to admit that we made an impressive sight. James T Kirk, starship captain, a human of average height with a muscled build but slim - I was so slim! Blondish hair, hazel eyes, good-looking in a boyish way, twenty-nine years old but looking years younger... At my right shoulder stood my tall, lean, dark-eyed, black-haired Vulcan friend. People might think him austere, unfeeling, cold but he looked so perfect there. He exuded mystique, charisma and power. He was my balance, my shield, protective, supportive and dependable.

Admiral Nogura was smiling. That had to be a miracle. "Commander Spock, your outstanding reputation is known to us. We are honoured to offer you the positions of first officer and science officer aboard the Enterprise."

Spock acknowledged him with an inclination of the head. "Sir, I am honoured to have the privilege of serving under Captain Kirk's command."

I faced him and he bowed to me. I was deeply touched that he should honour me with that gesture in public. I returned it as Vulcan courtesy required. Only those Vulcans present would understand the respect we had shown one another. Spock had trained me well in the nuances of Vulcan behaviour.

Nogura was beaming. We had certainly made his day. Could I stand the old tyrant being so happy? At least he'd give me anything and anyone I wanted now. "I would like Lt Commander Montgomery Scott as my chief engineer, Dr Leonard McCoy as chief medical officer, Lt Commander Gary Mitchell as navigator and Lt Lee Kelso as helm officer."

I had thought long and hard about my choices. Scott was the finest engineer in the fleet and had worked on the Enterprise from the very beginning. There was nothing he didn't know about her and I needed an engineer like him who was totally committed to her welfare. Scott was also an excellent commander and would make an excellent second officer.

Bones was my only choice for CMO. Where I was going, I'd need his advice and his superb medical skills. My old friend was full of homespun, old-fashioned country doctor tales but his was a brilliant and original medical mind. Apart from the common cold there was nothing he couldn't cure.

Gary would be annoyed with me for we had always planned that he'd be my first or I'd be his. Now I realised that it would never work. I suspected I'd always doubted his ability and after serving with Spock, I was certain of it. I hoped he would accept his post with good grace; if not he was free to try another ship. There were always vacancies for a good navigator.

Lee was my first choice for helm. He had worked with me before and I trusted him. The other positions would be filled later. Spock and I would work on that together.

I watched as each one of these officers were offered and accepted the positions. My eyes shone with unshed tears as I shook their hands and I tried not to feel alarm at the dull resentment in Gary's eyes. The four men took their places behind me.

"Captain Kirk," Nogura said. "You are now free to celebrate your appointment with family and friends. You and Commander Spock may take a month's leave before you board your ship."

I thanked him and the council then Spock and I took our leave of our Vulcan ship-mates. Their best wishes and encouraging words warmed us both and I was very sorry to see them go. How much more difficult it must have been for Spock who had served with them for so long.

At last, followed by my friends, I turned and left the chamber. Once out I strode to the private reception area, almost running in my eagerness to greet my family. There would be total privacy there from the prying eyes of the media.

I burst into the room and moments later, was holding my beloved mother in my arms. I crushed her to me and kissed her hair. "Mom," I whispered.

She laughed and she cried. "Jim, my baby. Jim," she sobbed.

She burrowed her face in my shoulder and I smiled. Her 'baby' towered over her now; not that such a little matter would change her perception of me. I would always be her baby.

She held me back and there was pride and joy in her eyes. "Jim, you've made me so proud." Her eyes streamed with tears and I wiped them away with my fingers. "Let me look at you," she sniffed, eyeing me with the scrutiny that only a mother can employ. "Jim, you look wonderful but you've lost so much weight! Have you been eating properly?"

I grinned at her motherly concern. "Yes, I have, but I've been living on a healthy and nutritious Vulcan diet. I'm fitter than ever."

She smiled, released me and turned me towards... Sam. He was just as I remembered him; strong, decisive, admirable and loving. I threw myself into his arms and we hugged tightly. He, who had always comforted me, now needed that from me. Somehow he seemed more fragile now; perhaps it was due to my extra muscle power. My brother, who never wept, did so now with happiness. He leaned on my shoulder as if he couldn't support himself.

"Sam," I murmured, touched by his open love. "Sam." I held him back and we grinned at one another.

"Jim, I'm so proud of you. We are all so proud. We all missed you."

I hugged him again, my heart singing with joy at this reunion. "I missed you too." I said.

Aurelan, my lovely sister-in-law, her son Peter now eight years old, embraced me. My cousins, Ian and Janine greeted me warmly, and their delightful six-year old daughter Tessa with her long, gleaming dark hair, colourfully beribboned, lifted her arms and waited to be thrown up in the air. She still must remember how I had done that one summers day before I joined the Vulcan fleet. I couldn't resist and, as I tossed her high, she squealed with delight.

I was encircled by my friends. Carole, my beautiful ex-lover, whom I caught and kissed with all my old passion for her. She returned it but parted in mutual embarrassment at the cheerful mockery from the others. I was swept up in a round of kisses by several old flames and my suppressed sexuality chose that time to come to the surface. I couldn't, wouldn't, be alone that night.

"Hey remember us?" asked a familiar voice in an unmistakable Georgia drawl.

"Bones!" I yelled, throwing my arms about him. "Bones, it's so good to see you."

He laughed and returned my hug. "It's so damn good to see you, Jim." His voice almost broke but he disguised his emotion and eyed me critically. "All muscle." He slapped my midriff. "That Vulcan food must've agreed with you."

"Strictly vegetarian."

"I can't figure out how you adapted to it! You with that penchant for sweet, sugary concoctions. Jim, you always were a carnivore."

"Oh, the food selectors could have supplied them all but I would have earned the disapproval of my ship-mates."

He grinned and shook his head in disbelief. I had changed and he would soon find out just how much. Gary was next. He stood in silence as I held out my hand. Would he forgive me for not appointing him first officer? I would explain my reasons and he would understand. I would make him understand.

He slowly smiled and shook my hand. "Well, Jim, the conquering hero returns. Good to see you, kid."

I pulled him into a hug but he was tense and there was a reserve in him that had never been present before. At one time we had been so close, but the time apart and my choice of second-in-command had placed a barrier between us.

"I missed you, Gary" I said.

"Missed you too, old friend," he responded.

There was an awkward silence but there were so many others there - family and acquaintances - who wanted to greet me. There was no more time to speak with him. I was caught up in an excited, and happy group of people who all wanted my attention. It was an impossible situation which I tried to handle with tact.

I caught a fleeting glimpse of Spock standing by the door, as far away as possible. That dampened my joy as guilt, at having abandoned him already, overcame me. What must he think of me? How could he possibly tolerate all this? I excused myself from the crowd and walked over to him. His strain was only too obvious to me and I regretted having exposed him to this maelstrom of human emotion.

"Spock, forgive me." I slipped into the Vulcan language. "Please allow me to introduce you."

"Very well, Captain," he replied.

I hesitated. "Are you all right?"

"I am quite well, sir." he replied.

"Spock," I chided. Why was he being so formal with me? Then it dawned that amongst these strangers - their thoughts broadcasting throughout the room - he would need all of his concentration to maintain his telepathic shield. "Can you go through with this?" I asked, worried now. I didn't want to throw more emotion at him for I feared for his discomfort and distress.

The expression in his eyes softened. "If it be your wish, Jim."

I swallowed hard. His loyalty and devotion were as intense as ever. He would expose himself to any pain or risk for me, even the charged emotions of my family and friends. I smiled at him with real affection. I could've hugged him but would never do so here.

I suddenly became aware of the complete silence in the room. We were being watched. I gathered Spock up with a glance and together we walked over to the others. They stared at him, curiously, and I hoped it didn't make him uncomfortable. We stopped, and he stood at my right shoulder - almost touching.

"May I introduce Commander Spock. He is the person who made all of this possible. If not for him, my mission on the T'Varon would have failed. Until he befriended me, I was lost, alone, and totally out of my depth. He helped me in ways too complex to explain. On several occasions, he saved my life. He taught me many things but above all else he honoured me by giving me his friendship. I cherish and value that for it is beyond price."

I stopped aware of their surprise. It was difficult for them to understand for to have a Vulcan's friendship was unheard of. They held preconceived ideas of Vulcan coldness and formality - a myth the Vulcans themselves perpetuated. I had seen otherwise, but I'd been in a very privileged position, serving with them on a starship.

"Mr Spock accepted my request - my plea - to come with me to the Enterprise. For that I will be eternally grateful." I knew Spock was uneasy at my praise but didn't let that stop me. I had to tell everyone about my deep regard for him. I wanted them to accept and value him as the exceptional being he was. "Here on Earth we know little of the Vulcan people. I spent more than a year living with them and can tell you that they are the most honourable, noble and gentle beings in the galaxy. I am privileged to have been a part of that Vulcan crew and that Spock should call me friend."

I held my hand out to my mother. "Mr Spock, may I present my mother, Winona Kirk."

My mother's reaction gave me my first taste of Spock's appeal to human women. Her eyes shone as she stared at him with a rapt expression. A slow flush crept up her face. She raised her hand, then realising her error perhaps from my sharp intake of breath or her own knowledge of not touching a Vulcan, she drew back with embarrassment.

Spock, however, surprised us all, He took her hand in a light grip and bowed over it. My mother's other hand flew to her mouth as she studied his shining, black hair, and her skin deepened in colour. I had never see her so flustered. Her behaviour was more like a young girl with a media star.

"Lady Winona, I am honoured to meet you," Spock said, in his deep voice.

I realised he was showing her the respect he would with his own mother and that really touched me. He was willing to take the hand of a strange human, accepting all her unbridled emotions, and he had done that for me.

He released her hand, straightened, then stood in silence before her. My mother's delight was apparent. She clasped her hands together. "Mr Spock, it's a pleasure to meet you." She looked up into his impassive face. If she was small beside me then she looked tiny beside his tall, dignified form. "You've brought my son home safely to me. I don't know how to thank you."

He raised an eyebrow. "Your son is too generous in his praise. He omits to tell you of the times he saved my life."

I grinned at little at that remark.

"Jim has always been modest about such things," my mother replied.

"Indeed, however there is little else he is modest about."

I almost choked and quickly steered my Vulcan friend away before his honest bluntness caused me further embarrassment. There were chuckles from those present but I ignored them, and introduced Spock around. No-one else tried to touch him, I was pleased to see. Spock inclined his head with polite respect to them all and I watched with real interest at how the women responded. Something about him seemed to attract their undivided attention. Was it his slightly satanic appearance? His dark, penetrating eyes? His magnetism? He had brought me down to size many a time, he had brought me to begging for his friendship, what would he do to a human female with the added complication of sexual attraction thrown into the mix?

I studied him. I had never before considered Spock to be a rival but he was handsome in his own unusual way. His remote, yet gentle manner and that air of natural power tempered with non-aggression, intelligence and shyness would be very attractive to women. I laughed at myself. He would have no interest in human women. He was bonded to T'Pring for the present. Despite his human half, he was Vulcan through and through. He was not interested in sex, he was too young, and his time of marriage was years away.

The reactions of the men to him were quite different. Sam with curiosity and fascination, Bones with real medical interest, Gary with a sullen resentment I didn't like. I'd have to have a long talk with my old friend.

Peter asked, with the innocence of childhood, "Why are your ears pointed?"

Spock answered the boy with serious consideration. "It is a characteristic of the Vulcan people."

"Is it true you can read minds?" Peter asked, his eyes wide with apprehension.

"I have that ability. It is, however, rarely used."

Aurelan pulled her son away, whilst telling him not to be so inquisitive. I grinned. Peter was a lot like me.

There was a tug at my hand. "Uncle Jim, lift me." Tessa lifted her arms and I hoisted her up to sit on the crook of my arm.

"This is Tessa, Mr Spock," I said.

He inclined his head to her, with grave dignity and she giggled.

"Tessa is six years old," I said, as if that should explain her.

"Indeed," he replied.

She reached out to touch his hair. "Tessa," I warned.

"Oh, please. It's so shiny."

"No, Tessa," I ordered.

My tone upset her for she burst into tears and clung to my neck in a temper tantrum that held all the magnitude of a photon torpedo. Her mother tried to take her but the child screamed and kicked and wouldn't release me. Afraid to use my strength in case I might hurt her, I stood there helplessly. "Tessa, I tried to reason with her. "You're a big girl now. You can't have your own way all the time." She screamed louder and dug me hard with elbows and knees. Unused to children, I'd no idea how to cope with her.

"Tessa." Spock's voice penetrated the bedlam of noise. Amazingly the child quietened and turned to look at him. "It is unseemly to behave in such a fashion. You are but a child, but even one so young must learn discipline."

I stared at him open-mouthed- we all did- but it seemed to work for although, Tessa's bottom lip trembled, she seemed to find some kind of control over her childish emotions. I was amazed by my Vulcan friend. His calm presence was so strong that even a child felt its aura.

"You have hidden depths, my friend," I said, as I put the child down. He shifted under my gaze and looked down.

After that everyone spoke at once, and it was some time before we made our way to the reception hall where a celebratory meal had been laid on for us. Many top Starfleet people were there and I was impressed. There was a long table reserved for us. I sat at the centre, with my mother at one side of me, Sam at the other. I indicated that Spock should sit opposite me for I had noted that he was about to settle down at the far end. I wouldn't allow him to isolate himself. He would need to learn how to make concessions, just as I'd had to on the T'Varon.

Tessa scrambled up onto the chair at his right and I made a bad job of hiding my amusement on seeing the tiny girl gaze up at the austere Vulcan, her eyes wide with hero-worship. Ruth, my first love, who now worked in space-dock engineering, sat at his left. I had noted the delicate manoeuvring to get to that chair; at least four women had tried. What was this power that Spock had over women of all ages?

The conversation ebbed and flowed as we dined. Out of habit, I ate a Vulcan dish for the smell of meat was now alien to me. Everyone was curious about my time on the T'Varon and I recounted some of the incidents that had befallen us. Unless asked a direct question, Spock was silent. That didn't put anyone off from trying to engage him in conversation. As he had when first I had met him, he used an economy of words. It was his shyness, his reserve and I hoped the others would understand and not find him aloof. Even more, though, I hoped his shields would protect him from such an excited group.

His body was rigid with tension and I, who knew him so well, could see his strain in the way he clasped his hands together on the table, and in the bunched muscles of his arms.

"Spock," I lapsed into Vulcan. "You are uncomfortable here."

He looked at me in his intense way and I heard the slight gasps from my mother and brother as they caught the edges of his powerful stare. I was used to his deep seeing eyes and didn't mind, as long as they weren't full of disapproval.

"I must accustom myself to human company, Captain," he said.

"No formality here, Spock. Call me Jim."

"Very well, Jim. It is interesting being amongst so many illogical humans. I am but used to one."

I laughed at his sly dig at me, startling the others who had no knowledge of what we were saying and anyway, would never believe that a Vulcan could tease. I had taught him that and it was an achievement I was proud of - even if I did get the worst of it at times.

"Thank you, my friend," I said.

"You are welcome, my friend. I am pleased to see you happy," he replied.

"It is wonderful to see my family and friends again, and to know that you are here also."

"I sense the warmth around you, Jim. Is this human love?"

I flushed with pleasure on hearing his telepathic impressions. "Yes, Spock. Human love and happiness."

"It is fascinating. The lady Winona's is the most powerful of all."

"You must know something about mother love, Spock." He didn't reply and I could have kicked myself, for he had told me one that his own mother, in deference to her husband's traditions, had not shown Spock much affection. I wished I could have bitten that remark back.

"I am sorry, Spock," I murmured.

"It is unimportant, Jim. Do not be unhappy. I am content here with you, t'hy'la."

Suddenly realising that there was silence about us, I sat back and murmured, "Oh, forgive me. I am so used to speaking in the Vulcan language."

The thin, piping voice of the little girl intruded. "What is t'hy'la?" she asked. "It's a lovely word."

I met Spock's eyes. Why had the child picked up on that one word out of all the others. She was kneeling up on her seat, gazing questioningly at Spock. She ignored me. Well who was I? Only her Uncle Jim, a man regarded as a Federation hero!

Spock looked at her. "T'hy'la," he pronounced it in the way it meant brother of his soul.

She tried to copy him.

"That is very good," Spock praised. "It means friend."

Her eyes lit up. "Are you Uncle Jim's friend?"

"Yes. I have that honour," he replied solemnly.

"Do you like my ribbons?" she asked.

She had startled my logical friend by completely changing the subject. He blinked, glanced to me for help, but I could only grin at him in amusement. He had no choice but to put his best polite demeanour on it. "They are most attractive."

"What's your word for ribbons?" she asked, encouraged by his interest.

Did Vulcan children wear ribbons? I couldn't think of a word for it in the language. "Zylla," he said. Of course, strips of cloth, the nearest equivalent.

"Zylla," she repeated, then changed tack again. "I can count up to a hundred. Can I show you?"

He blinked several times again at the change of topic, and once again looked to me for assistance. This time I was becoming unglued at the humour of the situation and dared not speak for fear of falling on the floor in laughter. No amounts of illogic from me had prepared Spock for a six year old child.

"Tessa, leave Mr Spock alone," her mother tried.

"Oh please, Mommy," the child pleaded. She was drawn to Spock. She sensed his calm authority and his unique knowledge and was reaching out to the teacher in him.

Spock turned his attention to my cousin. "With your permission, Lady Janine, I shall listen to your daughter."

Janine blushed to the roots of her hair and gave her consent.

I found it difficult to restrain my amusement. Here we were, eating dessert, and listening to my friend - a scientific genius by any standards - guide a child in basic arithmetic. I knew only too well about his infinite patience but I'd not realised the depth of his ability to reach down to the elementary level and inspire such interest in his pupil.

As she received a word of praise from him, Tessa's eyes sparkled. I knew the feeling and in that moment, envied her.

After the meal ended, the music began. Starfleet's famous orchestra played for us. The most talented musicians were assigned to this renowned ensemble, known the length and breadth of the Federation. I asked my mother to dance and, after she had accepted, we made our way onto the floor.

As we danced she commented, "You're out of practice, Jim."

"As far as I know, Vulcans don't dance," I replied.

"You've grown up, Jim. You've changed."

"It was about time I grew up," I remarked.

She smiled. "Living with Vulcans has taught you courtesy and discipline."

"Living with Vulcans has taught me to be a better person."

She stroked my face. "Your Mr Spock is just...." I waited for her appraisal of him for she was usually an excellent judge of character. Her brow furrowed as she struggled to find the words..."just gorgeous."

"Gorgeous!" I hadn't expected that one.

"Yes. I've never met a more handsome and charismatic male of any species." She took in my shock then added, "Except you, my love. He is delightful, Jim. So proper and shy. I can see how fond of him you are."

"That doesn't even begin to describe what I feel for him. I don't know if I can even put it into words. We've become close in a way unimaginable to humans. He gave up the life he knows to follow me, consenting to accompany me for the sake of our friendship. I still don't know how it happened and I can scarce believe my luck. I am still awed and amazed that we should share such a relationship."

"My Jim, you could always charm the birds from the trees," she said.

Once the music ended, I was not able to resume my seat for the various ladies in my group all claimed dances with me. I would occasionally glance over at Spock but Tessa and also Peter claimed his attention and he was giving them a lesson on something - probably quantum physics if I knew my Vulcan.

As I danced with Carole, our old romance seemed reborn. She obviously sensed my arousal and her eyes sparkled knowingly. Both of us knew that we would spend the night together and I wondered if I dared mention how long I'd been celibate. I reached for control. Surely, after more than a year, I could manage a few more hours.

Hand in hand we returned to the table. I sat next to Spock, with Carole at my other side, as my mother suggested that I come home for a while and to bring my friends with me. I agreed, at once, for I really missed the old place.

"Spock, I want you to see my home. Will you come with us?" I asked. "We can visit the British Museum later."

I could tell that under his calm demeanour, he was pleased. "I would be honoured, Captain."

"The British Museum!" Gary exclaimed. "What about the night-clubs, the bars, the pleasure palaces, Jim? We're going to paint the town red!"

I grinned. "I promised Spock that we'd visit the British Museum but, don't worry, I'll take in a night-club with you one evening."

"You! Museums! How boring and stuffy. Ugh!" Gary grimaced.

He never changed. Still irresponsible, still irreverent. Perhaps I had changed, becoming more serious minded. For the immature pleasures that he still enjoyed - and I'd once done also - seemed unimportant now. I wanted to show Spock my home, and tour some of the great historical places of Earth with him. I wanted to relax.

Spock's voice disturbed my reverie. "Mr Mitchell, why would you wish to paint the town red. Even with Captain Kirk's assistance there would not be the time to complete every building before..."

"Spock." I tried to control my mirth. "He doesn't literally mean to paint the town It's an expression that means to have fun, to enjoy oneself."

Spock was puzzled and I could now foresee lots of problems I'd not even thought about before. "I do not know how humans can understand one another if they do not state their meaning in a clear and concise manner."

"It's something you will have to learn, Spock. I know the Vulcan language has no equivalent but here on Earth we use lots of colloquial terms." I could just envision the misunderstandings!

"I will attempt it, sir. I have a certain minor skill with language."

Minor skill! Who was he trying to kid. He could pick up a language faster than anyone I had ever known. Was it just his natural modesty or did he truly believe his linguistic skills were nothing special. He had a lot to learn about himself. I had tried but had never succeeded in making him believe how special he really was. He was the best science officer in the fleet, acknowledged as that by the Vulcans, yet he still strove for perfection, still doubted himself and questioned his own abilities. Perhaps it was the human in him.

I shook my head and turned to Carole. "Will you come with us?"

"Sorry, Jim. I'm stationed on Vega. I only returned for the inauguration. I have to leave tomorrow." I was touched by her gesture in travelling all this way to be with me at this turning point in my life. I clasped her hands in mine. "Be with me tonight, at least," I said.

"Of course, I will, Jim," she answered.

We smiled at one another for it was always like this between us. We loved one another but were wrapped up in our respective careers and had no time nor inclination to settle down. The longest we had spent together was five months. It had been great but our outlooks on life were quite different so we took the moments we had, enjoyed them to the fullest, and then went our separate ways. It was the only possible arrangement.

That evening was one of the happiest of my life. Even when Admirals Nogura and Komack joined us, it didn't put a damper on it. Spock, still involved with the children, didn't notice their arrival. "Mr Spock," I said, as I stood up to greet my senior officers. He looked up from the paper he had been writing on; the faces of the children staring up from either side of him. Three innocents, I thought to myself with a touch of amusement.

He rose to his feet, clasped his hands behind him, and stared with eyes front in the austere, military way if the perfectly disciplined Vulcan officer. I presented him to the admirals. "Sirs, may I formally introduce Commander Spock."

"Commander, it is my pleasure to meet you," Nogura said.

"Welcome to Earth," Komack added.

He bowed his head a fraction. "I am honoured, sirs. I come to serve."

I could see how much he impressed these top brass. That came as no surprise for, I who knew him better than anyone, never failed to be impressed.

Nogura was a small man but, despite his lack of height, he was an imposing figure. He had not made it this far in Starfleet without having a ruthless streak, but he was very much respected. He looked up at the tall Vulcan, and for once looked quite small. "I will expect you and Captain Kirk in my office on November third at 09.00 hours. At that time you will receive your pre-boarding orders. Will you be staying at the Vulcan embassy, Mr Spock? I may want to speak with you sooner."

I jumped in before Spock could reply. "Mr Spock is my guest. He'll be staying with me during our leave." We hadn't fully discussed this, but I knew Spock wouldn't mind.

Komack watched me with smiling approval. "Admiral Zaminsky told me that if anyone could do it, you would, Kirk."

"Sir?" I inquired, unsure of his meaning.

He didn't clarify his words but I think I understood him all the same. It was a fine compliment.

"Why did you decide to join an all-worlds ship, Mr Spock?" Nogura asked.

"Captain Kirk asked me to," Spock replied.

They looked at me with guarded respect for, many times, they had personally asked for Vulcans to join, and had always been politely refused. Nogura was persistent. "Why did you ultimately accept, Mr Spock?"

Spock looked directly at him and the legendary, unflappable admiral flinched at the eye-contact. I knew the feeling and felt sorry for him. "Captain Kirk is my friend. It is his wish that I should accept the position of first officer on the Enterprise."

Those two distinguished admirals, like all humans, had a healthy respect for Vulcans. There was something imposing and awe-inspiring about them. Spock was unique; with the best of both sides of his dual heritage. I knew that well.

"Mr Spock is a Vulcan," piped the voice of my little cousin. "He's teaching me mult..i.p..."

Spock looked into her upturned face. "Multiplication," he sounded out.

She smiled with innocent charm, repeated the word, then added. ...and division. He's very clever, much better than Ms Wood, my teacher."

The admirals laughed. "We mustn't keep you from such important work, Mr Spock," Komack commented, jokingly.

Spock relied in all seriousness. "Indeed, sir. On Vulcan, teaching the young is considered very important."

The admirals indicated that I should accompany them, so I walked with them until they stopped a short distance away. "Kirk, how did you do it?" Nogura asked. "The Vulcans consider Spock the best science officer in their fleet. And he is the son of Ambassador Sarek. Do you realise what a breakthrough this is?"

"Sir, all I can tell you is that at the beginning Spock became my guide and mentor on the T'Varon. Without him my mission there would've failed. We became close friends. I owe him everything, not the least being my life several times over."

Nogura clasped my shoulder. "Jim, we've read your fascinating, official logs. Your mission there was a historic one. You showed Vulcans that humans could work with them and you even persuaded one of them, Sarek's son no less, to work with us. If Spock succeeds, more will follow."

"I agree but I have some concerns. Humans are not as tolerant as we'd like to believe. It's not easy to understand Vulcan ways. Even I still don't understand a lot about them. They have different standards of behaviour. We tend to push our own values and ideas upon others. The Vulcan people live by a high moral code. Much value is placed on courtesy, privacy, and respect. Not something that many of us are particularly good at. I can foresee many problems."

"You will see that your crew are educated in these matters, Kirk," Nogura stated. "Spock's successful integration on your ship is of the highest priority."

"My crew will be taught to respect the Vulcan way," I vowed. A sudden grin emerged as I recalled how Spock had sorted me out. "I know, from personal experience, that Mr Spock will soon convince all who come into contact with him, how worthy he is of their admiration and respect. I had barely met him before I found myself desperate for his good opinion of me. He has powerful charisma. I believe you've noticed it."

Nogura nodded. "You speak with passion, Kirk."

"Indeed, sir. Spock was my senior officer on the T'Varon and I had to earn his respect. He became my friend, and didn't give me that friendship lightly. He has come here because of me and I wouldn't have him regret that decision."

"You were the best we had to give to the Vulcans. Adaptable and willing to learn, yet very much human. You have broken a major barrier, Kirk and we at Starfleet, are proud of you. Well done." They left me then. I was exhilarated. Everything was going right for me...

Hours later, we made our way to Starfleet's luxury accommodation for homecoming personnel and their families. As we sorted out where our rooms were, everyone knew that Carole and I would be sharing; that is everyone but Spock. Well how was my Vulcan friend to know?

I asked Carole to wait in my room, assuring her I wouldn't be long. She agreed and left Spock and I alone in the corridor. "May I come in for a moment?" I asked him.

He opened his door and waited for me to enter. I walked in ahead of him and it was a strange feeling. Well, I was his commander now, and his courtesy to a senior officer was paramount.

"Spock, I will meet you in the transporter room at 17.00 tomorrow. Then we'll go to my home."

He raised a brow. "17.00 hours, Captain?"

"I, um, need some time alone with Carole. Do you mind? You'll be all right until then, won't you?" I cleared my throat, feeling a bit of a heel for leaving him on his own.

"She is your betrothed?" he inquired.

I flushed a little. Why was I still so awkward with him at times? Some things were so difficult to discuss with him, like sex. He knew nothing of such needs and wouldn't understand how it was possible to crave a physical relationship without a telepathic bond. All Vulcans remained chaste until their time of marriage; their energies channelled into study and research.

"Um, no. She is a friend, we're close, we were lovers. I love Carole, I always have. I know Vulcans have no concept of the term outside of marriage but we humans aren't monogamous, not in the way Vulcans are."

He stared at me, puzzled.

"Spock, I haven't... I mean... I..." Damn. How was I to explain this. It was so alien to him. "I've not had any opportunity for sexual release since I... before I joined the T'Varon." I could scarcely believe it had been such a long time myself. It had to be some kind of record!! " I need this. Can you understand?" Closer to him than any other, yet the most ridiculous things caused such complications between us.

After what seemed like an interminable moment, he replied, "I see, Captain. Thank you for informing me. I do not exactly comprehend, for this physical need is unknown to me. I have read, however, that it is normal amongst humans."

I relaxed. He was not going to be disgusted with me then. I suppose it was IDIC. He respected other life-forms and their customs. I touched his shoulder. "Spock, you impressed everyone tonight. I'm proud of you."

Carole awaited me but I couldn't prevent myself from drawing him into a tight hug. He returned it then as we stepped back I noticed the puzzled expression in his eyes. Always receptive to my feelings, he was clearly sensing what was uppermost in my mind and body.

Time for me to retreat. "Until tomorrow. Sleep well, Spock."

"Sleep well, Jim," he responded.

"I doubt I'll be sleeping very much," some devil in me commented.

My innocent friend frowned, as I laughed and headed for the door. "What is that strange excitement within you, Jim? I have never sensed it before."

I stopped at the doorway and groaned. "Um, read some books on human biology."

"Please specify."

"Spock, you're a fast reader."

"Jim, what is the matter? Are you all right?"

"I will be, if you'll let me leave," I snapped.

He seemed taken aback, even a little hurt. Well, I had been abrupt and very impolite. He didn't deserve that. I had to remember and make allowances for him being in a different environment; one with customs quite different to his own. I lapsed into the Vulcan language. "Please, forgive me my bad manners and illogical behaviour, Spock."

He stared at me for what seemed an interminable time; I bore it as patiently as I could, trying not to think of Carole waiting for me in bed. "Very well, Jim. I forgive you. However, there is much I do not understand about humans."

"And much I do not understand about Vulcans. We must continue the learning, Spock. Agreed?"

"Agreed," he replied.

I made a sharp exit then, before he could question me further about the odd behaviour of human males.

Starship Captain - Section two

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