The T'Varon Chronicles

(An Alternate Universe series)

Starship Captain - Section two

Home

How shall I describe that night? Only that Carole and I didn't sleep too much and it was worth every moment. At mid-day she left to return to Vega. I was relaxed and content; all our old sparkle had been there but, as always, there had been so little time for us. I slept a little until Sam arrived to tell me it was almost time to leave. I flopped back and sighed.

"Quite a night?" he asked, with a knowing grin.

"Quite a night," I agreed.

He laughed, pulled me from the bed, and we wrestled as we had done as children. Now, though, I was stronger than he and he was soon pinioned beneath me. "Help! My baby brother, the starship captain, is bullying me!"

I released him, grinned, and sat back. "You can blame Mr Spock. My extra muscle is due to many exhausting hours in the gymnasium with him."

As I showered and dressed, I told him a little about my year away and it was as if we'd never been apart. Sam and I had always been close and I was delighted to be with him again, although it was strange to be so open with him. Spock had been my only outlet for feelings in such a long time, and there I had been forced to make concessions and had learned, up to a point, to curb my emotions. Yet, my relationship with Spock went deeper than any other ; it was an enigma really.

We arrived at the transporter room, where the rest of the family descended on me in a laughing, chattering group. I was pleased to see Spock there, and I strode over to him, eager to be with him. He scrutinised me and I bore it, as I'm accustomed to doing. Why did I flush this particular time? I hadn't done so for quite some time.

Gary appeared by my side. "Hey, glad you're here at last. Mr Spock and I were having the dullest of conversations." I shot him a look and he caught himself, became silent and lowered his eyes. Once there was a chance, I'd need to have a long chat with him.

"Mr Spock, Mr Spock," the children ran up to us.

"Greetings," he said.

"Oh, Mr Spock, will you teach me some more today?" Tessa pleaded.

"If you so desire," Spock replied; all courtesy.

I grinned at Tessa, then turn to Gary. "Learn from the children," I suggested.

I could see that he didn't understand my meaning and had the horrible suspicion that Gary was going to be causing lots of problems.

We materialised in the front garden. Unfortunately we were caught in a heavy downpour of rain and had to rush inside. Spock, however, remained on the porch and it was not difficult to deduce why. Vulcan was a hot and arid world where water was precious. It rarely had rainfall this heavy.

My mother followed my gaze. "I have a problem with the rooms, Jim. We have so many guests, I don't know where to put them all."

I understood her meaning. "Spock will share with me."

She slipped her arm around my waist. "Good. I wouldn't want him to be uncomfortable here. You can take your old room. There's plenty space there."

I sighed. My old room was the one I had shared, as a child, with Sam. Mom still seemed unsure and I bent to kiss her cheek. "Don't worry, Mom."

"He is such a private person, and seems so alone," she murmured.

Her mothering instincts had always been strong and Spock had touched on that. I remembered the waifs she had befriended and helped; her kindness and love of life knew no bounds. I hoped I had inherited some of that from her.

"Yes, he is very private but he's not alone now. We are friends." I hesitated, then decided to tell her a little. "Once we were trapped together for three days in a freezing cave. Spock was ill and we had to keep ourselves mentally active and physically warm or we'd both have died." I remembered our ordeal, only too vividly. "Despite being very weak, he saved me from the claws of a wild cat and a Klingon disrupter. He risked his life for me then and at other times."

She smiled at me. "Then you can share a room without any problems."

"Easily. Even happily for I love his company."

"You really love him a lot, don't you?" She had always understood me.

"Yes, it's like no other," I admitted.

"You're living out the true principles of the Federation, Jim. That is a wonderful thing."

"I guess so," I replied, hugging her.

We stayed up late talking. Spock sat on a chair, only speaking when asked a direct question. I tried to draw him into the conversation but his reserve was too ingrained so I decided to let him find his own way into this. These weren't Vulcans engaged in scientific discussions but humans gossiping and chattering about subjects beyond his comprehension. Gary was in fine form. He sat on the floor in the centre of the group. I laughed loudly at his sly wit but Spock was unable to comprehend and just watched curiously. The children sat at Spock's feet and seemed delighted to be a part of adult company, but I suspected they just liked being close to their new tutor. Their parents had already admitted to me that they had never seen either child so taken with anyone before. Did the little ones see through Spock's carefully assumed mask to the person beneath?

The children protested noisily when they were told to go to bed, and said they would only go if Spock came to say goodnight to them. After a silent appeal to me for guidance, at which I could only shrug with helplessness, he agreed to accompany them and their mothers upstairs. Once they had left, we all grinned in mutual amusement.

"Well, would you believe it!" Sam exclaimed. "My own son prefers Mr Spock to tuck him in. I'm only Peter's dad after all."

"He has a way with children," I said, recalling the way he had helped me, as helpless as a child, on the T'Varon.

Gary stood up and sat on Spock's vacated chair. "Can't understand it. He's as cold as ice."

"No, reserved, yes, cold no," Winona disagreed.

"Children always know, "Sam said. "He has an aura of goodness about him. Does that make sense?" Sam understood; he was a lot like me. Earlier, I had seen him in a relaxed conversation with Spock.

My mother chuckled. "Goodness, yes, but a woman sees other things."

"Mother!" Sam and I exclaimed in unison.

"Well, he is a very attractive man," she countered.

I recalled how my ex-girlfriends had flocked about him. "He is a very complex being and strangely compelling. I probably know him better than anyone else but there's still so much mystery about him. I can tell you this much; you'll all learn to admire and respect him. He is a scientific genius the like of which you've never seen. He can out-compute the computer yet has the patience to teach elementary maths to a child."

They listened to me with a lot of interest and I coughed, embarrassed. Gary snorted a little and that reaction made me angry with him. Why was he being so damned obnoxious.

In a while, Aurelan and Janine, followed by Spock, returned. Both women were self-conscious and giggled like schoolgirls, not adult women. What was this magic Spock held over the female of the species? Resuming their places on the couch, the women commented on how meekly the children had settled down; an unusual occurrence.

"Mr Spock told them a lovely story," Aurelan said, with a shy smile. My outgoing, energetic sister-in-law was blushing like a teenager.

Well, who was I to be amused! There had been occasions when Spock had caused me to blush to the roots of my hair! I wondered, though, what story he had told the children. I would ask him later.

Spock hesitated when he saw his chair was occupied. I didn't know what to say as we weren't on duty and I couldn't order Gary to vacate the seat. Yet, how could I allow Spock to stand about in awkwardness? Gary was smirking and I seethed at him. He had done it deliberately then, openly trying to annoy someone he resented - or was jealous of, I suddenly realised.

My Vulcan friend was not one to be easily thrown. After all he was used to me and my often unfathomable behaviour. He walked over to me and after an uncertain glance, he sank into an elegant Vulcan-style cross-legged position at my feet. Pleased by his willingness to relax with me, despite Gary's ignorance, I lightly touched his shoulder and he looked up at me. As I had sought his company on the T'Varon, he now sought mine here. I wouldn't fail him.

"I was telling everyone about your infinite patience, Spock."

"Indeed?" he replied.

I slid from my chair to sit beside him. "Teaching the children must be easier than it was to teach me anything."

"Teaching you has been most difficult," he teased, "but you have been a willing pupil."

"Willing but not always able," I responded, with a rueful glance at the others.

"You must not belittle yourself, Jim. You have always tried to the best of your ability. You are not and shall never be a scientist of note but you are a born leader. That is a very rare ability. Each person has his or her own gifts and we complement one another. Such is the meaning of diversity."

I sighed with pleasure at his words; he always made me feel better about myself. He could lift my spirits when my thoughts became too negative. What an asset he was to me. What a friend! "You speak with your customary wisdom, Spock. Thank you, my friend."

"It is my privilege to serve you in this, sir," he replied.

There was silence all around us and I wondered what my family and friends made of him. None of them were used to Vulcans so what would they see, apart from the obvious. They would never understand him for how could they? He had permitted only me to get close to him.

As the conversation shifted and changed, I stayed beside Spock, comfortable with him as always, but after a further hour my eyes began to shut. Well, I'd had little sleep last night! As I lost my balance, Spock caught my arm. I forced my weary eyes to open.

"Jim, you must sleep now," he said, in the Vulcan language.

I nodded in agreement. "You are right. I am so tired. I wonder if I can reach the bedroom without you having to carry me there." I grinned, wondering how he would take my teasing words.

There was a slight touch of outrage in his eyes but he replied, "I will carry you, if you wish." He had obviously decided to call my bluff.

I considered it. He could lift me easily, but it might be undignified for the others to see me so helpless. I decided against it. He would take me literally, carry me like a child, or a sack of potatoes, if I so much as hinted that he could. Or would he? I didn't dare take the chance. Alone with me he could do pretty much what he wanted to me. He knew that, and I think he had come to enjoy our fitness training and wrestling matches. I, of course, was usually at a disadvantage.

"Oh, no thanks," I countered. "I can manage." I would pay him back though. "You stay here for as long as you wish, Spock. You are a source of fascination to everyone."

He looked almost frightened and I regretted my cruelty at leaving him like this. Then I dismissed it. He would have to learn to be in human company without me being around. I stood up, said my goodnights and left.

My old room hadn't changed. It was comfortable and full of mementoes, books, and toys. Before I completely crashed out, I showered, barely dried and slid between the cool sheets. I was lulled by the rosy haze of childhood memories and before long I was sound asleep.

I woke up to see sunlight slipping through the gap in the drapes. A breeze scented with fresh country air, freshened the room. I stretched out in contentment then turned on my side to look at the other bed. Spock was still asleep. I watched him, remembering our cave ordeal. In some ways that had been the best time of my life for it had brought me closer to him.

I rolled over onto my back and contemplated my future. The life I had always dreamed about lay ahead of me now. Starship command with Spock at my side. It was a heady brew. I jumped out of bed, went over to the window and pulled the drapes aside. The scene before my eyes brought back more happy memories. I had missed those fertile grasslands and gently rolling hills in the distance. It had been my playground. I had been very lucky for my life here had been one long, happy summer.

I didn't hear Spock's approach. "Jim," he murmured. Used to his silent movements, I was not even a little surprised and with a touch of mischief I leaned back, hoping to startle him. I was successful for he grabbed my arms and chided, "Jim, you could have fallen."

"No. I knew you would catch me."

"You like to take risks," he commented with a touch of disapproval.

"No, not this time," I said.

His touch filtered through me and his mind slipped into contact with mine, even without him touching the meld points. I loved these moments of communion with him. It was a sensation and a completeness like no other. Often words were unnecessary, like now, and it was more like a passing of the essence of one another. It's hard to explain. After a time, I turned and hugged him for a moment. Nothing I did bothered him now for he accepted my feelings for him in the way I showed them. In private, of course. In public I'd never do anything to embarrass him. Well, not like this.

"Let's have breakfast," I suggested. "After that I'll give you a tour of the countryside."

"That would be interesting."

"Perhaps even enjoyable?" I quizzed.

He held me back. "Enjoyment is alien to me. It is an emotional condition."

I snorted with disbelief. Did he think I'd allow him to get away with that? "And what was that I felt from you during the meld?"

"I am sure that I fail to comprehend your meaning," he responded, with a tiny flicker of amusement.

My scepticism must have been obvious but he didn't take the bait. I'd not get any more from him. He could be very stubborn.

Bones and Gary were already eating; they greeted me cheerfully then Bones added, "You're looking chipper now. Well rested."

I nodded. I felt good but whether from the sleep, the meld or a combination of both, I didn't know.

"Too bad your room-mate last night ain't as pretty as Carole," Gary quipped.

I was annoyed at him; his flippant remark was not amusing. Maybe I had lost my sense of humour, seeing things from the more serious Vulcan viewpoint and realising what Spock might think of such comments.

"You must be the only human to have spent the night with a Vulcan," he continued, tactlessly, and laughing at his own words.

"Your facts are incorrect, Mr Mitchell," Spock answered, before I had a chance to tell Gary to shut up. "My mother is human and my father is Vulcan. Hence it is logical to assume that they have spent nights together."

I spluttered, and scarcely contained my laughter. Gary stared open-mouthed at Spock who had effectively stopped him short. I was pleased. My Vulcan friend was showing me that he could look after himself pretty well.

I sat down at the table and Spock took the seat to my right. "Once Spock and I spent three days and nights trapped in a freezing cave on a barren, isolated planet. I doubt I would've tolerated your company for that long, Gary." My tone was full of censure and I hoped it would make him think twice about what he was saying in the future. He flushed and looked away; he had understood my reprimand.

Bones looked from one of us to the other. "Jim, he's only kidding. You know Gary."

"Do I?" I asked him. "I thought he would be pleased to show some courtesy to Mr Spock who gave up the life he knew to serve with me. He is without doubt the best science officer in all of Starfleet, the one who saved my life, made my captaincy possible and who has been a true friend to me."

McCoy studied us with clinical appraisal. "All that time together in a freezing cave, huh? How'd you stay alive, Jim?"

"We had some provisions, a sleeping bag and a blanket; some emergency rations."

"Did either of you get frostbite?"

"It was likely pretty close." I recalled how I had rubbed Spock's hands and feet. Lucky he still didn't know about the feet!

"You'd have to conserve body warmth." Bones stared in amazement at Spock's Vulcan reserve. He must have been wondering how that would have been possible. It hadn't been easy but snuggling with a chilled Vulcan hadn't been too bad, once his initial embarrassment had been overcome.

"Captain Kirk saved me from certain death by hypothermia," Spock suddenly chipped in.

Bones smiled in sudden understanding. "That is a situation that makes or breaks friendships."

"We were friends before that time, Doctor, and have remained so."

"I thought Vulcans avoided touch, Mr Spock," McCoy said, his medical curiosity aroused.

"Indeed, Doctor. We are touch telepaths and normally must avoid physical contact. However, in such a situation, logic dictates that survival is the first rule."

"Sounds real cosy to me," Gary butted in, "just the two of you together..."

"Shut up," I hissed. Why did he always try to cheapen everything?

He blanched at my tone. "Sorry, Jim." He was unable to meet my eyes.

I fumed with exasperation. How would Spock cope with humans like Gary? I, now so used to Vulcan ways, was finding it difficult... The frailties of my old friend were appalling to me! How had Spock and the T'Varon crew put up with me? I wondered. I swore under my breath.

"Jim, can't you take a joke anymore?" Gary complained.

"Your jokes are not very amusing." McCoy tried to mediate but I was furious with Gary and wouldn't be placated. "You've constantly made snide remarks about Vulcans, What is wrong with you, Gary? If you can't work with Mr Spock, without insulting him, you'd better transfer off my ship."

Gary paled further and looked down at his coffee cup. I couldn't control my anger at him and was about to speak further when Spock intervened. "Mr Mitchell is ill-mannered but he is not a bigot. Jim, please do not be concerned on my account. I am impervious to insults. I do not understand them for I have no emotions, no feelings to hurt."

Who did he think he was kidding? He knew I'd never buy that, not me, the one who had shared thoughts with him. Yet the others might for it was just what everyone believed about Vulcans ; cold, emotionless, logicians.

"I don't know how you're going to get used to humans, Spock. I know how much I tried your patience. What will living with more than 400 of us do to you? Gary is only one example. He's flippant, full of inane jokes and innuendo." I paused remembering the friend whose company I had enjoyed in the past. "Yet he can be generous, honest, and will do anything to help a friend, but he can be so damn irritating!"

Gary almost choked and on impulse, I reached over to touch his arm. "You're like me in some ways," I added. We grinned at one another, then I looked from him, to Bones and to Spock. "I want this to work. It won't be easy for I'm inexperienced and will need all the support you can give me in my new command." I concentrated on Bones and Gary now for they had to understand from the start. "Mr Spock has pledged me his loyalty. That loyalty is absolute. We became friends in the Vulcan way. It's a friendship of the purest, deepest kind and works by its own particular rules. You must accept that no matter how strange it may seem to you. It won't change my feelings for my old friends. I want us all to learn to work together as a team. We have to prove ourselves capable of working with a Vulcan. He must be accepted on my ship and given every respect. He was my senior officer on the T'Varon, and I'll admit to you that it was very easy to learn to obey his orders. He is the finest of officers." I grimaced. "My problem now will be how to command him."

He raised a surprised brow. "You do command me, Captain. I have given you my oath and have pledged friendship to you. These are binding and unto death. Such pledges taken in mind-link cannot be broken."

Tears sprang to my eyes. "I thank thee," I said, in Vulcan.

My speech and Spock's words had caused quite a reaction from the other two. I could tell, not only by their expressions, but perhaps through a little residue left from the telepathic communion we had shared earlier.

"Jim, I will do everything in my power to help you," McCoy said, his eyes alight with his own affectionate friendship for me. We clasped hands. "You have my loyalty and don't you ever doubt it." His sincerity was obvious and I was pleased.

Gary stood up and went to look out the window, Bones and I shared a meaningful look and I knew he was trying to tell me that Gary needed some reassurance. I stood up and went over. "Gary, you'll make first officer one day, perhaps you'll even get your own command, but Mr Spock's qualifications make him the only choice for my first officer. I do need a good navigator, though, and you are the best."

His tension seemed to ease a little and he faced me. There was a lop-sided, challenging grin on his lips as he replied, "There's no better navigator than me, Jim, but I'd have made a helluva first as well."

"I don't doubt it, Gary, but you gotta let go now and accept what is." I gripped his shoulder. "Give me your loyalty?"

His eyes widened at my insistence and I wondered what he would do. He was determined, proud, and even arrogant. We had always competed in sports, grades, promotions, and for women. It might be difficult for him to accept my command, so I had to show my authority now or there'd be trouble later. He had to respect me and now. "Pledge me your loyalty, Gary. I demand it."

A startled expression, he swallowed, he stammered. "I dd..don't know how."

"Gary, I must have this pledge from you," I insisted. "It is my right as your captain and friend. Commit yourself now or else you can ship out."

He wavered under my gaze; something he'd never done before. I continued to assert myself for he had to know who was in command. "I'm waiting."

He shifted about then finally met my eyes. "I... give you my loyalty, Captain."

I grinned and hugged him. He returned it but when we stood back there was a glimpse of some strange expression in his eyes. He was going to cause me problems; I knew it.

I turned to Spock; who immediately rose to his feet. I couldn't help but compare Gary's sullen and forced compliance with Spock's willing and noble allegiance to me. I checked myself. Living with Vulcans had left me critical of human behaviour. It was something I had to be aware of.

"Can you ride a horse?" I asked.

He blinked a few times in alarm. "No, sir."

"Oh well, we'll take a ground car."

"Where are we going, sir?"

"I want to show you the farm."

"May we not walk, Captain?"

"It's a big farm," I told him. "We'll use the ground car and walk too. How's that for a compromise."

"That is satisfactory, sir."

"Spock, stop being so formal. Jim will do here."

"Very well, Jim," he replied.

We ate breakfast. Afterwards, everyone declined to come with us; probably realising I wanted to show Spock the place by myself. Winona packed us a hamper of food and Spock accepted the fruit and vegetables from her with a grave courtesy that delighted her.

It was a beautiful, sunny day. Spock was fascinated by the greenery. As we picnicked by a stream, he seemed almost mesmerised by the gentle flow of the running water. I lay on my stomach, watching the glistening stones in the shallow stream, remembering the many times I had lain here dreaming of travelling in space. I had wanted to meet all types of interesting alien life and now one of those very beings sat here sharing my stream with me.

I leaned on my elbow and he turned to face me. "We'll be the best team in the fleet," I said.

"Indeed, we shall be, Jim." His enthusiasm, although more restrained, mirrored my own.

"Any regrets about leaving the Vulcan fleet?" I wanted to know; insecure now for no apparent reason.

"None," he replied.

I rolled over and lay flat on my back. I stared up at the clear blue sky and breathed in the fresh country air. Listening to the gurgling of the stream and the sound of birdsong, many pleasant memories crowded in on me. I wanted Spock to share this and tried to reach out to him in thought. On occasion, he could pick me up without physical contact.

"Jim, I do not wish you to worry about me. I will deal with those humans under my command, in my own way. None of them could possibly be as difficult as you were."

I collapsed in gales of laughter at those words. He seemed surprised by my reaction and obviously didn't understand why I was so amused. "I think I've just been insulted!" I exclaimed.

"I have given you my opinion," he replied, with a touch of pique.

"You sure don't mince your words, Spock," I said.

"Mince my words!" he queried.

I groaned. He needed a lesson on expressions like that. Well there was no time like the present.

***

The next days passed quickly. I renewed my acquaintance with family and friends and laughed more than I had done for a long time. Spock would often go for long, solitary walks and I didn't protest, knowing that he needed time alone. At other times he would spend hours teaching the children. He fascinated them and that was something I understood. Winona was also drawn to her Vulcan guest and would occasionally forget herself and fuss over him as if he were her own son. He didn't protest and allowed her motherly concern; perhaps he even enjoyed it but would never admit that to me.

As much as I enjoyed the company, sometimes I would weary of it and accompany Spock on one of his outings. We would walk in companionable silence, which was very pleasant indeed, and I decided that I should soon broach the subject of our visit to the British Museum.

Six days into our visit, I was sitting on the porch, with some of the others, eating lunch when Spock came out of the house. He stood beside me and something in his stance alerted me that there was a problem. I stood up, alarm bells ringing and hammering in my ears. "Spock, what is it?"

To one who knew him well, it was obvious that he was very tense. "I have received an urgent communiqué from my father. I must return at once to Vulcan."

His words shocked me like an icy shower. "What has happened, Spock? Why do you have to leave?"

He cast a sideways glance at the others then replied in the Vulcan language, "It is a personal matter, Jim."

"I will accompany you," I replied, at once, in the same language.

"No, please, you must remain here with your family and enjoy your leave."

Dismayed, I stepped closer to him. "There is so much we planned to do on Earth. When will you return?"

His eyes were filled with pain, his difficulty with this equal perhaps greater than my own. "I wish to stay here with you but my father's orders must be obeyed. I shall return as soon as possible. Please forgive me for leaving you so abruptly."

"When must you go?" I asked.

"Immediately," came the shocking reply. "The ship is in orbit and leaves within the hour. My belongings are already on board."

"Spock," I whispered, the suddenness of it all leaving me shaken.

His communicator chirped. He took it from his belt and flipped it open. "Spock here."

"Commander Spock, " said a clipped voice. "We are ready to transport you aboard."

The ache in his eyes reflected my own. "I shall be ready in thirty seconds. Stand by."

I couldn't believe this. Why all the urgency? What wasn't he telling me? What could possibly be so important as to whip him away so suddenly? I held out my hands in a desperate plea.

He took them in his and bowed over them. Then releasing me, he placed his fingers at the contact points on my face. The mind-contact raced through me, flaring with powerful force inside my head. Farewell, my t'hy'la, he said, his pain only too obvious. There was a sudden rush of warmth from him that made me catch my breath. The message he sent of devotion and loyalty was almost too much to bear.

I railed against the cruel fate that was ripping us apart. Spock, I tried to say.

He stood back, stared at me for a long penetrating moment, and then walked the required distance away for beam-up. As if imprinting my image on his memory he watched me until he disappeared into transporter sparkle and was gone.

I shivered. It was as if a part of me had just been torn away... A gaping wound lay open and throbbed with pain. Emptiness loomed. "Farewell, my t'hy'la," I whispered. I was shaken to the core by his sudden departure, and swayed. What kind of emergency forced him to travel to Vulcan? He had looked so stressed, so anguished. Vulcan seemed so far away. He would be gone for at least two weeks; so much of our leave time would be wasted.

A strong grip steadied me but blinded by tears I couldn't see who it was. "Jim, what happened? Are you okay?" Sam's voice penetrated my grief.

I searched for the strength to bear this and, to my wonder, felt some residue of Spock's telepathic contact deep in my mind. It was as if a part of his essence had clung to me. I held onto it and that comforted me a little. "His father, Ambassador Sarek, has summoned him to Vulcan. I don't know why."

I tried to relax but a horrible thought came to me. What if Spock didn't return in time to join the Enterprise? What if Sarek's influence caused the Vulcan council to withdraw permission for Spock's transfer? What if I never saw Spock again?" My mind raced from one frightening scenario to another.

"At least we can have some fun now." Gary's sarcastic comment broke in on my thoughts. "You don't have to feel obligated to visit boring museums now."

"Shut up, Gary," McCoy hissed at him.

I turned on Gary, full of the bitterest anger I had ever know, ready to tear him apart for that callous remark. He knew it too, for he started back in fear. If Sam and Bones hadn't held me back, I'd have done it. Together, they bundled me into the house and to my room.

"He didn't mean it," Sam soothed. I wouldn't be calmed. Gary's insensitivity, after the injustice of taking my friend away, enraged me. I hardly knew what I was saying as I ranted in helpless fury. Sam bore it, as he had done during my childish temper tantrums, and, somehow, I found myself weeping in his arms. Bones stayed nearby, offering his support and gradually I quietened down. Sam sat me down on the bed, and he and Bones settled on either side of me.

"Jim, he'll be back soon." Sam hung his arm about my shoulder.

I sniffed and rubbed at my eyes. "I know. It was the suddenness and then Gary... He made me see red."

"He can't control his big mouth," Bones said. "He never could." He looked at me and there was real sympathy on his face. "Jim, I've never seen you so attached to anyone."

Sam squeezed my shoulder. "Yes, it's as if there's a special bond between you."

"There is, Sam. A very special bond." I tried to control my emotions as Spock had tried to teach me but it was difficult. "I don't know how to explain it."

"It's said that Vulcans have no feelings, Jim," Sam said. "I don't believe that after seeing how you parted, how he looked at you before he was beamed away. Jim, he really cares about you." My brother's eyes widened with amazement.

I reached for the slight residue within my mind. "Yeah, we're bound in a... a kind of brotherhood." I wanted Sam to understand this. "In its own way, it's as powerful as ours. As you're the brother of my blood, he is the brother of my spirit, my soul. I can't begin to explain to you what we've shared. He is my balance, my other self. I don't know how else to describe it."

"Don't even try then," Sam advised. "You've broken an interspecies barrier that many thought impossible. You forged a very powerful friendship with a Vulcan. That says a great deal about you, little brother, and I'm very proud of you. We all are." He ruffled my hair as if I was still a child.

McCoy coughed, embarrassed by all this emotion flying about. "I'm sorry, Bones," I sympathised.

"Gary's gonna give you more trouble," he said. "He's so jealous."

I sighed. "I know. I'll need to talk with him and give him more attention. Once, we were almost inseparable. Bones, am I doing the right thing by bringing him onto my ship?"

"It's your decision, Jim. I can only comment that it's never dull with Gary around."

The three of us laughed and I felt more at ease now. Sam, my big brother, had the knack of making me see the positive side of things. McCoy, in his own way, was able to keep me centred. All that was missing was Spock. I tried not to think of how much I would miss him and resolved the make the best of my leave.

The next days were spent in a round of parties and night-clubs with my old friends, in the city. I threw myself into it all with a fervour that I didn't question too much, more than making up for my lack of female company on the T'Varon. Yet, unlike the night I had spent with Carole, it was strangely unsatisfying.

After seven days, during which a message I had sent to Spock went unanswered, I made contact with the Vulcan embassy but was politely told that Spock was unavailable. I knew something was very wrong and in desperation, I arranged to see Admiral Sivald, a member of the Vulcan fleet, who was on Earth in advisory capacity to Starfleet. As a former member of the T'Varon crew I knew he would not refuse to see me.

The distinguished elderly Vulcan stared at me, but I bore his intense gaze for none could match Spock's and Sivald's look meant nothing to me. Once he gave me permission to speak I told him my reason for being here.

"Captain Kirk, it is not my concern," he said. "The embassy attaches attend to such matters."

"They are not being helpful. With respect, sir, you are a Starfleet officer in the Vulcan wing. I have served on the T'Varon and know my rights. Spock is my t'hy'la, I have the right to make contact with him and you are obliged to help me, sir."

He was silent as he studied me further but I held my ground. No-one, not even this admiral, was going to intimidate me. "Captain, when he is a minor, a Vulcan son is subject to his parent's wishes. Sarek has this right to detain Spock, if he does not approve his actions."

"What of my rights?" Fear made me bold. "No-one, not even Sarek, may keep him from my side."

"That is true, however, you must be patient. There are other forces at work."

"What other forces?" I demanded. "Explain, sir."

At my tone, he raised an eyebrow in surprise but answered me. "Sarek disapproves of the council decision to permit Spock to serve on the Enterprise."

So my fears had been well founded. Sarek was going to try and overturn the decision. If anyone had the influence to do that, it would be him. "I will go to Vulcan myself," I began.

"No, Kirk. That is unwise. This matter is between father, son and T'Pau. You must not interfere. It will be debated but the decision of the council must stand. It is the only way forward; Sarek must be convinced of that. If all goes well then Spock will still have permission to join your ship. If he does not take that option then it will be his personal choice."

"Or one forced upon him by his father," I said, bitterly.

Sivald was unmoved. "Have faith in your t'hy'la. You are fortunate indeed to be a part of such a relationship. It is increasingly rare."

"Rare, sir?" I was amazed. "I thought it quite normal and commonplace."

"Once it was so," he answered. "In the past thousand years it is less commonly known. It is a legacy from our past, the most mysterious of interpersonal bonds and some believe the most remarkable of all. It transcends gender, family, social status, and now it has even transcended species." He stood up and came over to me. He towered over me, a giant of a man, over seven feet tall yet like most Vulcans he was courteous, gentle and very wise. "Kirk, no-one can take your t'hy'la from you. Not even Sarek. Spock wishes to be with you so you must have confidence that he will return. I have studied all the reports on you both. I am convinced the bonding is a true one."

"Is there a chance it is not?" I asked, horrified.

"Due to your humanity - and Spock's - there is a possibility. That will be Sarek's argument."

I was sick with worry now. What if Sarek persuaded Spock that the bond was not a true one and he need not be bound by it. Vulcan parents had more influence over their children than any other species in the galaxy. Spock - not officially an adult according to Vulcan law, might be strongly pressurised to meet his father's demands.

I thanked the admiral and left his office. After that I was poor company and told my friends that I was returning alone to the farm for a few days rest. So it was twelve days after Spock's departure that I went home. Only my mother was there and I spent the time with her, relaxing, talking with her, riding on horse-back around the farm and trying to let the peace of the place soak out my many worries.

Three days later, a text message from Spock arrived. I had been out riding but on my arrival, my mother greeted me with great excitement. "Spock will be here in about five hours!" she told me. "His ship gets into space-dock at 2am."

I let out an inarticulate cry of joy and swung my poor, startled mother off her feet. "I was so scared he wouldn't be back." I placed her down. "I'm so relieved, Mom."

"Jim, I told you he'd come back. He's your other self," she said. She understood for I had told her something of the relationship and she could grasp something of my feelings for him.

I stared at the chronometer. Five hours until his ship docked. Five long hours to wait. What would I do to pass the time? Should I try and get a call through to his ship? I'd better read his message first.

Once that was done, I bit my lip with frustration. "Damn," I muttered.

Mom knew me too well. "Jim, make yourself useful Go check on the dinner."

I grinned. Winona liked to cook; she was old-fashioned in that way. Staring at her in mock horror, I protested, "But I'm a starship captain!"

"Not here, you're not. Here I am in command," she bossed me.

"Yes Ma'am," I said, with a laugh, and obeyed her orders.

As the time came, I paced the garden. I hadn't contacted Spock, for he had specifically asked that I await his arrival and not meet him at space-dock. I knew why. He wanted our meeting to be in private. He was right, of course, for once he came near me, I wouldn't be able to restrain my enthusiasm. He knew me too well. I had called space-dock, though, and they had confirmed the arrival of a private Vulcan liner. It would take time to clear customs so I went inside, made myself a cup of coffee and waited some more.

It was almost three when the call from transporter control arrived. I confirmed the co-ordinates and dived out into the porch and stared into the starlit garden, my eyes straining for signs of his arrival. My impatience was getting the better of me when I spied the slow materialisation take place that formed into my Vulcan friend. He wore a simple outfit, all in black, which was his sombre preference in clothing other than his uniform. It made him look more dignified than ever. What a contrast to me in my old, shabby jeans and a plaid shirt I used to wear in my teens...

"Greetings, Captain." He gave a formal bow.

Relief overwhelmed me. He was here to stay this time, I was certain of it. "Spock, I missed you," I murmured.

"Indeed, Captain," he replied, in a voice even and emotionless.

I swore under my breath. The hell with restraint, propriety and formality. I covered the short distance between us in seconds and threw my arms around him with unconcealed delight. He stood still and didn't return my hug and numbly, I wondered if our separation had placed a barrier between us. Icy fear hit me. I couldn't bear such a regression in our friendship, not now, not after all we'd been through together. Then it dawned on me! What a fool I was! He had left here when the house had been crowded with people... "Spock, we're alone. Don't go double-Vulcan on me."

I opened my mind, awaiting the telepathic contact. He slowly relaxed, the tension draining from him in a sudden flow. A tenuous touch of his mind then we melded; his thoughts and feelings mingling with mine until his barriers wavered erratically then collapsed.

All that had befallen him since our parting, swept into my mind.

***

Vulcan

Spock re-materialised in the transporter room of the Vulcan ship. Calling on years of discipline and training, he fought to keep his face expressionless as he was escorted to his quarters. Only when finally alone, did he permit himself to succumb to his despair. He leaned his head in his hands. Sarek's orders had been clear. "Return at once to Vulcan. My personal shuttlecraft is waiting to escort you." The stern face and severe tone brooked no disobedience.

What did Sarek want? Why order him home so abruptly, and without explanation? Then in a sudden insight, it all became clear. He stood up, paced the small cabin, and then flung himself on the bunk almost weeping in fear. Despite the council ruling, his father wanted to dissuade him from joining the Enterprise. Sarek had never approved Spock entering the Vulcan wing of Starfleet. He had only permitted it after T'Pau, the family matriarch, and the fleet admirals had persuaded him to do so, and only after realising that Spock's chosen field was a respected one that would bring honour to the family. To have his son serve on a human-dominated ship would lower Sarek's status amongst certain factions of society. It was illogical, but Sarek leaned towards those groups despite having shaken these traditionalists by marrying a human woman.

Sarek's grudging approval of Spock's achievement at such a young age, of reaching the position of science officer on the T'Varon still rankled Spock. He revered his father but was afraid of him and of showing some human quirk that would earn his displeasure. All his life he had striven to be better than everyone else, more Vulcan than a full blood and worthy of the honour of being Sarek's son. Yet, there was something within that wanted more. He couldn't understand some of the drives inherited from his mother, but knew they would always surface at the most inopportune times regardless of how he tried to control them.

He pressed his face into the pillow and relived every painful moment of his parting with Jim. The nightmare of breaking the news. His friend's open shock and pain over the imminent departure, his own misery over the sudden, forced leave-taking. Spock tried to summon up some calm but it was difficult. Jim had become a part of him in the way described in legend. They had exchanged thoughts, feelings, and understanding; they had bonded in the brotherhood of ancient times. If they didn not will it, then no-one could part them; not even a father had that right.

Delving into his memory, Spock recalled how Jim - a non-telepath- had with persistence, courage and human love, transcended the ability of his species to save Spock's life on not one but several times. Spock comforted himself with the images of happy times spent with his t'hy'la; the togetherness they shared and even the outrage he sometimes feigned or felt at Jim's teasing. That had become an enjoyable game. He would miss the sense of fun he and Jim shared. He must try to maintain Vulcan decorum, now when it mattered, but it was not going to be easy.

During the five-day journey to Vulcan, he remained in his cabin and prepared himself for the ordeal ahead. His patience, carefully trained over the years, still served him well but without Jim's energising presence the days seemed to pass with interminable slowness. Once used to being alone, accepting it as normal, he now found the isolation and sterility of this Vulcan ship to be depressing.

On arrival at Vulcan Space Central, he was met by one of his father's aides and escorted to the city of Shikahr. There, in his childhood home, his parents awaited him. Amanda's face lit up with delight but she swiftly restrained her emotions knowing that Sarek would not approve. "Welcome, my son," she said, with a calm, Spock knew, she did not feel.

"Welcome, my son," Sarek said, in a flat and emotionless voice.

"You honour me, Lady Mother, Father," Spock replied, keeping his shields in place, afraid that Sarek might discern his raging emotions. "I come in answer to your summons, Father."

Nothing would be said until they had dined together so Spock, filled with tension, sat barely eating and comparing the silent dinner to the joyful and talkative meal times at Jim's home.

In his mind's eye he could see his bond-brother's smiling face and longed to be back in his company. Jim, who had reached through years of defences to touch his soul, who had drawn from him the dormant need to join with another in mutual trust and understanding. At first it had been difficult to deal with Jim's enthusiastic, uninhibited personality; it had threatened to overwhelm him. Realising this, Jim had attempted to learn emotional restraint. Yet, it was those very traits of Jim's plus determination and devotion that had saved Spock from injury and death on several occasions. Now he - a Vulcan - had learned, in his own way, to return a little of the human's affection and wanted nothing more than to serve with him on the Enterprise.

When they had parted, Jim, always careful of Spock's dignity, had held himself in check due to the presence of onlookers. Spock's farewell had moved his friend and the telepathic message had reached its target, always to remain a part of him and a testimonial to their brotherhood.

"We will talk." Sarek interrupted his reverie.

Spock thrust his thoughts away and dutifully followed his parents to the study. Sarek sat at his desk, Spock sat opposite, while Amanda settled onto a window seat. She seemed agitated and was watching him with barely concealed concern. Had she sensed his distraction? Was he that obvious? He was churning inside with the premonition of what his father's words would be and it was not easy to maintain an outward calm.

"I am opposed to your serving on the Enterprise," Sarek said, bluntly. "I wish you to remain in the Vulcan fleet or, preferably, join the science academy."

Spock clasped his hands together and sat straight. His worst fears had just been voiced and even though he had expected it, he could not control the chill of fear that pervaded him. He drew strength from within. He must defy his father; something unheard of from a young Vulcan. Disobedience of one's parents was against every tradition of the Vulcan people.

"I ask forgiveness sir, but I must beg to differ. The Vulcan council has given me permission to join the Enterprise."

Sarek's eyes flashed. "The council did not consult me."

"I was unaware of that, sir."

"I was on a diplomatic mission. On my return I was informed that T'Pau had given family consent on my behalf. She did not have the right."

Spock considered that. As Head of family, T'Pau did actually have the right to take Sarek's place on such matters so why was his father disputing that? T'Pau had always been Spock's mentor; her confidence in him had always played a major part in easing the difficulties of his youth.

"Sir, as you were off-planet, T'Pau had the right to make the decision." He swallowed, on seeing how badly that was received. "There is another issue that you are unaware of. I have given Captain Kirk my oath of loyalty."

"NO. You cannot be subordinate to a human. It is unthinkable. You are my son. It was one thing for Kirk to serve on one of our ships under your command. It is not possible for my son to be under his command."

"He is worthy, sir. He is my t'hy'la according to the ancient traditions." Spock gritted his teeth. He had to make Sarek understand.

"Impossible, no human can bond in the Vulcan way," Sarek argued.

"Father, it has happened. He is my true t'hy'la. We have merged in the bond of brotherhood, spontaneously, naturally as is told in legend." Spock held onto his courage but he knew that Sarek's anger lay close to the surface. To defy his father! To argue with him like this! It was un-Vulcan. Disgraceful behaviour for a son. It was unforgivable.

"My son, you are mistaken," Sarek said, more gently now, in a reasoning tone. "I do not say that Kirk is not brave, even admirable, but he is not a telepath. He cannot know the joy of such a bonding. He does not know the inner depth of the mind as a Vulcan does. It is beyond his capabilities."

"There is little beyond my t'hy'la's capabilities," Spock responded. "He is an unique being and I have vowed loyalty to him; my mind to his. It cannot be undone. I ask that you accept this. I ask that you grant me leave to return to Earth."

Sarek's fury rose to the surface. "You have sworn fealty to him? How could you shame your people, your family, in this manner?"

Spock answered his father with grim determination. "Where is the shame in it?. In the ancient days it was a privilege to be t'hy'la of a leader, the one responsible for the safety and welfare of the other."

"Kirk is not royalty. Kirk is not Vulcan. He is a human."

"Captain Kirk is a leader and will command a starship; the most powerful vessel in the fleet. We do not have royalty nowadays but if there is a modern comparison it would be such a captain. He has honoured me in asking that I be his first officer."

Sarek stood. "No, you are mistaken." His face was rigid with tension.

"Sir, Captain Kirk reached through all my barriers to capture my life-force. I could not escape and finally, I did not wish to. I was drawn to him in the way of t'hy'la."

"A human may not be your bond-brother," Sarek demanded.

"Father, he..."

"You dare remain seated before me?" Sarek interrupted, his voice hard with anger.

Spock tasted bitter fear as he struggled to his feet. In the face of this anger and opposition from his father, it was difficult to think clearly. "I ask your pardon, sir," he murmured.

"You shall not return to Earth. I have called a meeting of the council. Its decision must be rescinded."

"Father, I plead with thee," Spock entreated. He was not too proud to beg his father to relent. He would do anything to stop the injustice he was faced with. Not return to Earth? Not be permitted to serve aboard the Enterprise with Jim? "Honoured father, I beg of thee..."

"I shall persuade the council that it was in error," Sarek stated.

"Sarek, you must not do this," Amanda spoke for the first time. "It is wrong."

"I will do it, Amanda," Sarek answered, icily. "Spock, remain in the house. Stay in seclusion until you have my permission to leave. You will not transmit nor accept any messages."

Spock shuddered at those orders. Sarek had the power to enforce them and, in his present frame of mind, would not hesitate in doing so. He bowed his head in acknowledgement.

"I will not tolerate disobedience," Sarek continued.

Until he knew Sarek had left the room, Spock kept his head lowered. As he looked up to meet Amanda's eyes, he saw in them a dismay and pain that reflected his own. She came over to him and, with motherly concern, held out her hand to him.

"I am sorry, Spock," she said. "I tried to reason with him but he is determined to prevent you from serving on the Enterprise."

"Why, mother?" Spock took her hands in both of his. "He married you, a human. Why is he against me serving with humans."

Amanda stared at their joined hands in surprise. She had never known her son to make such a human gesture before. He was so perfectly Vulcan now. Not, since he had been a child, had he ever shown her any sign of human feelings. He repressed them, in honour of his father, as she had also trained herself but Sarek had never expected it of her. He had made many concessions to her humanity but none to Spock's.

"Sarek is a complex man. Even after all these years with him, I often do not understand him. Like now." She studied Spock. "You have changed. Despite Vulcan law that says you are a minor, you are an adult. To defy Sarek was very brave and ..." She had almost said human.

Spock bent and kissed her hand. Amanda gasped with surprise then smiled with dawning joy as Spock straightened to his full height.

"I have always wanted to do that, mother," he said. "Jim has taught me that the giving of one's feelings can be rewarding experience."

Tears glistened in Amanda's eyes. "I often despaired of you having any part of me inside you. Now I see that you have. Your friend has released it. He must be a remarkable person."

"Indeed he is," Spock replied. "I will never return to what I was before. Cold, empty and alone. I am still Vulcan - nothing can change that - but I can accept the human traits I possess and not be ashamed of them. I have found my t'hy'la. He is my captain now and I will serve him. My pledge cannot be broken."

"I am on your side, Spock, and will attempt to dissuade Sarek from his course of action. I fear it will be difficult. In a family decision, I have no official vote."

Spock knew the law. Amanda, not being a born member of any ranking Vulcan family, had taken on membership of her husband's clan. She had to accept Sarek's decisions on his son's career, marriage and even his education as a child. Although she had influenced him, she was unable - under Vulcan law - to oppose him. Her position on Vulcan was an honorary one and she had always accepted that. She had never before been made to feel an outsider but now her inability to help her son, through the channels available to any Vulcan mother, made her curse the rigidity of the law.

Three days later, Spock was summoned before the council. All of the planet's ruling body was there; a measure of the importance of the meeting. T'Pau the head of his family, presided over the assembly. Keeping his telepathic shields in place, Spock bowed to them respectfully.

Sarek, with Amanda by his side, sat amongst the delegates. Spock could tell nothing from his father's severe expression but from his mother's he could tell that she had been unable to change Sarek's mind.

T'Pau leaned heavily on her staff of office, and stood. She was frailer than Spock remembered, but her indomitable will still drove her. "Approach me, child," she said.

Spock obeyed, saluted her in the paired-fingered salute, then knelt at her feet. Bowing his head, he awaited her words.

T'Pau's expression softened as she looked down Spock's shining hair. "Spock, thy father objects to thy serving under a human commander. His reason is that he was not present to state his opposition when we gave permission for you to join the Enterprise. He has now invoked his right and asks us to rescind our decision. Although thee are a minor under Vulcan law, thee may now state thy opinion in this matter."

Spock scarcely breathed. He sensed her sympathy and her good will towards him. She had always sought him out and had trained him in many disciplines, including the healing ones. He owed her a great debt.

T'Pau studied him; her youngest great-grandchild. He had been a willing an able pupil; the best student she had ever taught during her long life-time. Although disappointed he had not become a healer, she had approved his desire to join the fleet as a science officer. For one with so many talents, it was a logical career choice. This hybrid child of Sarek and Amanda was acknowledged as the most brilliant scientist of his generation. Many had been surprised that Spock should excel in such truly Vulcan virtues but T'Pau had reached the conclusion that his human genes had given him the random and often illogical flashes of insight lacking in his contemporaries. There was an edge to Spock's thinking that left other Vulcans at a loss.

He knelt before her, uncertain and awed, but there was a determination within him, a strength that had brought him through many difficulties in childhood and early youth. He was an enigma, and T'Pau took pride in him. He was her favourite; the only member of her family who was intellectually equal to herself. She kept her feelings carefully hidden under her austere mien.

"T'Pau, I have council permission to join the Enterprise." He looked up at her with eyes the image of her long-dead bond-mate. "You cannot rescind this decision without losing face with the Federation. They will say that Vulcans renege on their word. It will cause ill-feeling and resentment within Starfleet. The goodwill and harmony reached between Vulcan and other Federation species due to Mr Kirk's successful mission on the T'Varon, will be disrupted and perhaps endangered. Our place within the United Federation of Planets will be seriously undermined." He paused for a moment to search her face but he found nothing but impassivity. "On Earth, I have been treated with the utmost courtesy. I have been welcomed and advised that they are pleased that a Vulcan officer has, at last, joined their fleet. They are eager to build on the co-operation we have begun."

Spock hesitated on taking this to a personal level then decided to continue. The practice of hospitality to a stranger was part of Vulcan tradition. "Captain Kirk invited me to his home, where I was the guest of his lady mother. They treated me as a member of their family, and respected my differences. Captain Kirk is my t'hy'la according to the ancient ways." His telepathy picked up the surprise that admission brought. "He became so during the time he served on the T'Varon. It happened as is told in the texts of Surak. We are joined in spirit and soul. I wish to serve under his command and it is my entitlement. He is my t'hy'la and we may not be forcibly parted." He controlled his rising fears at the complete silence in the chamber. "I ask the council to allow their decision to stand and to grant me permission to return, at once, to Earth." He bowed his head to indicate that he was finished.

"Sarek, thee may speak," T'Pau said.

Sarek came to the floor, bowed to the assembly and began. "I did not give approval for Spock's appointment. Therefore, I consider it invalid and ask the council to rescind their decision."

"What of Spock's observation concerning the harm such a choice will make to our relations within the Federation we are a part of?" T'Pau asked.

"It is of no matter. They will accept it," Sarek said. "They do not wish to offend us as they rely too much on our science and technology."

"There is the other matter of Spock's t'hy'la."

"I have intimated my opinion of that to my son. A human cannot bond with a Vulcan in such a manner. It is unheard of."

"Sarek, you have bonded with a human in marriage. I recall the outrage that caused amongst some," T'Pau argued.

"It is different. It cannot be compared to the bonding of t'hy'la." T'Pau looked down at Spock's bent head. She sensed his horror and his fear over his father's words. Poor child. Always torn between his two heritages, trying to be more Vulcan than any other just to please his stubborn father. She had defended him before and would do so again.

"Who can say what is possible? Our minds must be open to new ideas. Captain T'Zen, and Healers T'Renna and Sivon have given me their testimony. In their opinions, the bond between Spock and Kirk is a true one. We cannot refute the expertise of such eminent people. It would be illogical." T'Pau drew herself up. Her authority of council president and head of the family, powerfully compelling. "No-one, not even a parent may keep t'hy'la apart, Sarek."

Sarek lowered his eyes for a moment, clasped his hands together, and then looked at his kneeling son. "My child," he said, gently.

Spock stood and turned to meet his father's gaze. He forced himself to be still for he would not disgrace himself and his family before the council. T'Pau had granted him adult privileges, even though technically before pon farr he was still a minor. He must behave with dignity. "I await thy words, father."

"Do you still insist that you are bound in brotherhood to Kirk?

"Affirmative, sir."

Anger blazed from Sarek's eyes but Spock did not flinch. "T'Renna, Sivon and T'Zen must be mistaken. The bond of t'hy'la is uncommon in these times. They are not experts in this matter."

"Sir, Healer Sivon once had a bond-brother. He recognised it in us at once. I know it to be true. It lives within me. I beg you to accept it."

Sarek stared at him for a very long moment before turning to the council. "What is your decision?"

T'Pau glanced at each delegate in turn before speaking for them all. "Our earlier decision stands. We shall not rescind it."

Sarek pursed his lips and faced Spock. "As you are as yet a minor, a father's wishes may take precedence over the council ruling. You have the choice. If you return to Earth you will incur my extreme displeasure."

Spock was caught between father and t'hy'la. Whatever he did would hurt one of them. He considered it for a split second then made his decision. His father did not need him. Jim did. "I beg thy forgiveness, sir, but I cannot follow your wishes in this. I have made a vow of loyalty to my captain and must return to his side."

"So be it," the elder Vulcan said, his face like a mask. "I shall not speak to thee again."

A tremor ran through Spock's body but he halted it with iron will. "Father," he said. "This is unnecessary."

"You have the right, Sarek," T'Pau said, "however, I believe you are being unnecessarily harsh and intransigent."

"I have the right," Sarek said. "My wife, attend." As a stone-faced Amanda joined him and touched fingertips to his, Sarek added, "You may take leave of your son."

As he bowed to her, Amanda stared at her son with love and sympathy. He was a vulnerable and hurt young man - she could not think of him as a child as the others did - torn by the decision forced on him. Bound as she was by her husband's judgement, she could only cry inside for Spock. She wanted nothing more than to hold her son close and show him her love but that would be denied her here on this world where the showing of emotions was frowned upon.

"Farewell, Spock," was all that she could say.

"Farewell, Lady Mother," he replied.

As Sarek led her from the chamber and Spock was lost to her sight, she resolved that no matter how long it took, she would make Sarek change his mind.

Spock stood in the silent chamber, trying to suppress his pain and turmoil. He must mask them before so many telepaths. His father's rejection had been a serious blow and he struggled to accept that he might never be reconciled to him and not see Amanda again.

"We grieve with thee, Spock," T'Pau said. "You have gained Sarek's displeasure. Do you wish to alter your decision?"

Spock knelt at her feet again. He sensed her sympathy and knew his revered great-grandmother would work, along with Amanda, on his behalf. "I stand by my decision. I can make no other choice. The bonding with my captain is a true one and I cannot abandon him. Clearly my duty is to he and no other. I have sworn an oath to him and I must follow."

"You must return in all haste to Earth," T'Pau said. "My personal cruiser is at your disposal."

"I thank thee," Spock said with deeply felt gratitude.

"Child, thee are brave to risk Sarek's anger. He seeks only to protect his only son. He wished you to enter the science academy to further your knowledge and understanding of the universe."

"I believe that I have done that in Starfleet," Spock answered.

"Indeed, you have," she agreed. "Sarek never approved of Starfleet, nor our part in it. Perhaps, in time, he will change his views. Co-operation with the other Federation races must continue. Thy appointment has created much goodwill. Captain Kirk's inauguration ceremony was seen throughout the galaxy. In the opinion of this council both thee and thy t'hy'la were most impressive. If thee finds Kirk worthy then he must be the best of his species. Thy duty now lies with him."

She lifted her hand in salute. "Live long and prosper, Spock."

Spock returned the greeting. "Live long and prosper, T'Pau."

He stood, bowed before her and the council then departed.

He did not see his parents before his departure but minutes before the ship went into warp drive, there was a communication from his mother.

"I am sorry, Spock, He will not relent," she said; strain showing in her eyes.

Spock was not surprised. "Tell him that I shall honour and respect him always, but my word has been given and I cannot break it."

"He knows it, Spock, but he is very stubborn. Spock, I do not know when we will meet again and I want you to know how proud I am of you." Tears glistened in her eyes. "My thoughts will always be with you."

"You honour me, mother," Spock said.

Amanda smiled lovingly. "Give my greetings to your t'hy'la and his lady mother. I am grateful that they accept you as part of their family and am pleased that you have found such a friend as Captain Kirk. Perhaps one day, I will meet them. Live long and prosper, Spock." She held out her hand.

He mirrored her gesture. "Live long and prosper, mother."

After her image had faded, Spock stood looking at the blank screen. He reviewed everything that had happened with all of the options. Each and every time he came to the same conclusion. Jim was his responsibility and his first and only duty was to him. Regret welled up in him at the estrangement with his father but there was nothing else he could have done, nothing else he wished to do. With that realisation he pushed Sarek's objections aside and did not think of them any more.

The days passed quickly; unlike the outward journey to Vulcan. The crew engaged him in interesting scientific discussions and the time passed pleasantly. Once inside the Sol system, he sent a message informing Jim of his arrival time. He did not think that his friend had worried about him, assuming that Jim was enjoying his leave without any knowledge of the situation Spock had faced on Vulcan.

He watched the approach to the beautiful blue planet with its vast seas, so different from the desert world of Vulcan, Earth was part of his heritage too, but until now he had never felt any ties to it. His mother had no family left there and had made her life on Vulcan. Jim was here and Spock was a part of his family now. He felt the sudden thrill of homecoming, the pull of the world below and he yearned to be back in the warm atmosphere of Jim's home.

It took time for docking procedures to be completed but, at last, Spock stood in the main transporter room awaiting confirmation of co-ordinates for beam down. He heard Jim's voice verify and give permission and he almost smiled. Did he detect a touch of excitement in that tone?

The familiar disorientation of transporter travel was a welcome sensation. It passed quickly and became a chill evening breeze, bringing with it the scent of grass and flowers. He breathed in the fresh air and focussed on his friend's joyful face. Jim did not look much like a starship captain at this moment, the way he was attired in well worn jeans and plaid shirt, appearing more like a boy. He greeted Jim formally, afraid to surrender to his happiness at being here. His affectionate, enthusiastic t'hy'la had no such qualms and threw himself on Spock, enveloping him in a crushing hug. He exuded delight, happiness, relief and the Vulcan knew that he could never face the sterility of non-emotion ever again.

It took great effort not to respond to that hug, afraid that the others might see, but he should have known that Jim would never cause him embarrassment. When Jim told him that they were alone, he threw his restraint aside and returned the hug. They slipped into telepathic rapport and their thoughts mingled and intertwined in familiar harmony. Oblivious of the cold, night air, human and Vulcan knew peace and contentment in their shared inner world.

Epilogue

Enterprise. My ship, my beautiful lady awaits my command. She is my reward, my prize, for my successful mission amongst the Vulcans. With Spock's assistance, I've picked the very best for my crew. Starfleet refused me nothing. My dream of starship command is a reality now. We will face many unknowns, many dangers but that doesn't frighten me. Spock is with me and, with such a friend by my side oath-bound in the Vulcan way, I will not fail.

I was used to being under Spock's command, now he is under mine. I feel somewhat uncomfortable with that, although he doesn't. He has chosen to follow me; defying his father for my sake.

I sit here in the centre seat. Spock stands by my side and calls me Captain. The life I have dreamed about is beginning. I am ready to take on the future. I am in my rightful place. The ship's engines throb beneath my feet. She is waiting to fly free. "Mr Spock, prepare to launch," I say.

"All systems are ready, Captain," he replies.

My life has been building to this moment when I take my ship out of space-dock; when the Enterprise readies herself for her maiden voyage.

I stare up into my bond-brother's eyes and see the smile in them. I grin at him then return my attention to the launch procedures. This is what I was born for. This is what I am.

Starship Captain..

The end

Note: Another T'Varon Chronicles story is available in zine form. 'Bondrothers' takes place between the events in Haze of Conflict and Starship Captain. - Kirk and Spock investigate a parallel Earth in danger from alien invaders and its own Roman empire. They face members of a super-race and are caught up in turbulent events that could decide the fate of millions. Beautiful illustrations.

Please e-mail for further details.

Return to Home Page